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Jackson
05-04-05, 01:39
Greetings Everyone:

This report was originally posted by Young & Restless in the WorldSexGuide.Info Forum on 04-30-05. For obvious reasons, I am re-posting it here at ArgentinaPrivate.com

Jackson

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Hey everyone,

I am just returning from my first trip to Buenos Aires and all I can say is that I have been cheating myself by not going there until just now.

Before I begin, thanks to all of those who answered all of my newbie questions before my trip. Also, Moondog’s Guide to Buenos Aires (http://www.zonaroja.net/~moondog/ap/index.htm) was a huge asset before and during my trip. I used the maps just about every day while I was in BA to help plan night time activities. Muchas gracias señor!

With all due respect to MoonDog, you might also consider the Buenos Aires maps available here at http://www.argentinaprivate.com/forum/showthread.php?t=2064.

While I was there I found some places that I liked a lot and went back to them several times, so as a result, I did not get to cover as much territory as I had intended. I see it as a good excuse to return to BA and do some more research. I’m a half-full glass of water kind of guy (hehehe).

P4P

Apartments

Santa Fe 1707 (third floor)
Tel: 4816-1490 / 8926 – Cel: (15) 4028-7804
Mon- Sat / 10am – 5am

Highly recommended. I had not been in BA for more than a couple hours before I was on my way to Santa Fe 1707. I did not really know what to expect since I’ve never been to a private apartment before, but I’m glad I decided to come here early on in my trip.

One thing that I really liked was how discrete everything was. You could walk pass this apartment a thousand times and never know what’s transpiring on the 3rd floor.

Before you can go inside the building you have to push the buzzer for the 3rd floor, so they can unlock the door for you. If they say something to you after you press the buzzer, just say “Hello” in English and they will unlock the door immediately.

Go inside, take a ride on the old antiquated elevator and knock on the door. Once inside the apartment, the young lady who seems to be in charge of operations will explain the system to you if it’s your first time there.

I really liked the set-up here, as it is discrete and straight forward. Upon entry, the madam will take you to a room where you just have a seat and wait by yourself for the presentation to begin. They will send in one girl at a time to this room. The chica will introduce herself to you, give you a peck on the cheek, walk out and another one will come in right behind her and repeat the process. No games here. Just pick the girl you want and you can probably guess what happens next… That’s right… payment. Unfortunately, payment was always required upfront here.

The prices here are really good, IMO. You can elect to have 45-minutes for AP $80 or 1-hour for AP $100. If you want a bbbj, that must be discussed up-front with the chica and if they agree to it, they will tell you that you have to give them a AP $20 propina (tip).

I went here during the morning and afternoon and the fewest girls that were ever presented to me at one time was about 4 and the most was about 7 or 8. You will see at least one or two girls in the line-up that will really get your engine going. If I had to guess, I would say that the best looking girls here are in the 8 range. A good bit of advice that I read before coming here was to bring a pen & paper to write down the girl’s names as you meet them, so you can remember which one you want to select or avoid. The girls say hi and bye in a matter of seconds, so unless you are good with names the pen & paper is a big help.

After you tell the madam which girl you want she will offer you a drink and it’s off to a room. I was under the impression that the rooms here were a bit rough; however I did not find that to be the case. You won’t be tricked into thinking that you are at the Ritz-Carlton, but the rooms were clean and adequate as far as I am concerned.

I had two different chicas here, with one as a repeat. Erika was the first one. She had a light brown complexion, beautiful body, nice tits, pretty face, very sweet smile and was very talented. Gave an excellent bbbj too. Unfortunately, I did not see her there on subsequent visits; otherwise I would have repeated her again in a heartbeat.

The other chica that I chose was Barbara. She was truly amazing and was probably a little better than Erika. She gave an unforgettable bbbj and was an incredible performer. One thing about her that really hit home with me was the amount of energy she contained. I woke up the next day and had to have another session with her. She has a tattoo on her back, brown hair, very light skin (she looked very chicana), was fun, playful, loved to smile and laugh. Best 80 pesos I ever spent. Whoops, forgot about the propina… make that 100 pesos.

IMHO, Santa Fe 1707 is the best place to go for daytime action. They open at 10am if I’m not mistaken.

Cafés and Coffee Shops

Café Orleans
Av. Cordoba, 499
Tel: 4311-5194

Somewhat recommended. I went to Café Orleans on three different occasions during my trip and was never overly impressed. I went there as my first stop of the night on one occasion and as my last stop of the night on the other two. I noticed that the crowd picks up here as the night progresses, but quite frankly crap multiplied by crap still equals crap. It just really wasn’t worthwhile here.

Don’t get me wrong, I usually saw one, maybe two decent/good looking girls in here, but these girls had way too much of an advantage on the situation. They knew that their competition wasn’t much to contend with and most of the stiff legs in here would probably give in to whatever they required.

The thing that made Café Orleans worth going to for me was because it was a fun environment that didn’t cost more than whatever kind of beer you were drinking. I met a couple of nice girls there that I had some nice conversations with, but for me this place wasn’t much more than just a little café to drink beer at and get flirtatious looks from the chicas there.

One time it took everything I had not to laugh when I saw an unknowing pedestrian and his family innocently stumble into this place. They came to a sudden halt at the entrance door and did an about face, forward march once they figured out that this was a little more than just a café.

I would recommend dropping by for a drink. Again, it’s a fun, laid back environment, but… when it comes to finding chicas, I preferred other places.

Confiteria Exedra
Av. Cordoba, 999 Esq. C. Pellegrini
Tel: 4322-7807

Recommended. This is my favorite café. It’s bigger and more spread out than Café Orleans and I thought that the girls here were better looking. There were many times that I would go here just to have a beer or two and see how the day’s crop was looking.

I found Exedra to be an excellent place to go and relax at any time of the day or night, regardless of whether you were in search of a chica or not. I went there several times during the day and would see girls sitting in there that I saw from the previous night. I couldn’t help, but wonder if she had been sitting there for the past 12-hours waiting for someone to take her out.

On a side note, one thing that I forgot to mention about Café Orleans and any other Quilmes bar/café that I thought was pretty cool is that they always severed peanuts, chips or miniature breadsticks when you order a beverage. Exedra wins the blue ribbon in this event as they have all the above plus cheese, olives and bite size ham & cheese sandwiches. I thought it was nice the first time, but on a more sober night I questioned if some of this stuff was being recycled from the previous customer.

I had two different sessions with Exedra chicas. My first session was with a girl from Paraguay. She was about 28 y/o and had fake blond hair. She started out with quoting me AP $200. I asked her what I could get for AP $120 and she said that she would not leave for less than AP $150. She was cute; I was horny so off we went. Right off the bat I asked her if bbbj was ok and she said no problem.

For 28 y/o, this girl had a very good body and a tattoo on her back. Only flaw was that the skin on her stomach was a little stretched, but was not that big of a deal. Taking the good with the bad and for AP $150, there was nothing to complain about. I had an excellent time and it was money well spent.

My other encounter at Exedra was a threesome with two Argentine chicas. One was very light skinned with fake blond hair and the other one had darker skin, black hair and a tattoo on her back (maybe I should only mention when a girl does not have a tattoo on her back). Both girls were in their mid-twenties. It was extremely late this night (about 4:30am), but when these two girls invited me to their table I suddenly felt my second wind coming along.

They wanted to see if I was interested in one of them and I asked them if they all wanted to leave together. They said “Si!” and when I asked them if they would do anything together, they looked at each other for about half of a second and said, “Claro…” while nodding their heads yes.

I forgot that the Hotel Horizonte wasn’t very far from Exedra, so the taxi driver took us to a place that he recommended. I don’t remember exactly where this place is at, but it was on the opposite side of Av. 9 de Julio, more towards Recoleta.

Once we got inside our room, we all took a shower and then proceeded to bed. Things started off with some girl meets girl action and I must admit that this was better than the 2-threesomes that I previously had in Brazil. The girl with the lighter complexion was moaning and breathing heavily while the darker girl laid down in front of her and opened her legs for her. Without any hesitation, she commenced to going down on her. After about 15 minutes or so, the darker girl came (sorry I do not have names) and must have had a really intense orgasm, because she got up quick and started kissing all over the other girl. At this point, el capitano was so hard either of the girls could have done a trapeze swing from it and I could not set on the side lines anymore.

I had such a good time with these girls. We had our own unspoken system in effect too. When one girl would get tired, she would take a break and start kissing all over me while the other girl got on top. It was so much fun; I just wish that I had an extra set of hands.

Two hours with these girls and all it cost me was AP $130 for each girl, ~AP $60 for the love motel and AP $14 round-trip taxi fare. 334 pesos well spent.

One thing that does kind of suck about Exedra and Orleans is that the girls are sitting down most of the time, so unless you see them when they first walk in or get up to go to another table, it can be tricky to assess the girl’s assets (hehehe). I had my own way of dealing with that and knock on fake wood, it never backfired on me.

I invited one girl to my table that had a cute face, but once she stood up, I noticed that her body left a little to be desired. I know this sounds really weird, but I think her name is Andy. This girl used to work at strip clubs in the US for a few years and spoke excellent English, she asked me if I wanted some company and I said sure, but I only had AP $80. Luckily, she apologized and was quick to say that AP $200 was her lowest price and got up to go to another table. I told her I understood and it was not a problem…

I think Exedra is a cool place, but I absolutely would not pay more than AP $150 for any girl there. If you are near the area, definitely drop by for a drink and check out the scene.

Castelar
Esmeralda, 815
Tel: 4314-6869

Mildly recommended. I never saw this place mentioned anywhere before I went on my trip, but I’ve noticed that it has been mentioned recently. It’s right on Esmeralda and Av. Cordoba. Either Castelar is still in the way early stages of p4p café evolution or it’s never going to make it.

The crowd here is predominately filled with your average pedestrian, but every time I went in I always saw 2 – 3 girls in the very back that were on the program. Nothing too great, so I didn’t bother with any price checks while I was there. I would be willing to bet that these girls start out asking less than they do at Exedra & Orleans.

Not the best café, but it may have some potential. Worth dropping by for a beer (only AP $3).


Clubs and Boliches

The Suipacha Triangle: Hook, Catto’s and Ness
Suipacha, 936 (Hook)
Tel: 4328-8593

Recommended. Here you have three clubs that are clustered together with Hook and Catto’s being neighbors and Ness located right across the street from the two, hence the Triangle. All three clubs are literally a few footsteps away from each other.

One thing I liked about the Triangle before I even went there was that it was located close to my hotel on Av. Cordoba and Maipu. I usually just walked there and only took a cab when leaving with a chica.

My routine at the Triangle usually began at Hook, then Catto’s and Ness. There is (or was) a guy that stands near the entrance of Hook and passes out Hook business cards that give you your 2nd drink free, so I started things off there. I typically would just go in there to get a quick preview of the chicas and redeem the drink card. After I finished my drinks at Hook, I would drop in Catto’s and Ness for just a few minutes and go back to whichever one had the best selection of the night.

Ness was the only club that I never chose any girls from. Hook and Catto’s just seem to be more consistent for some reason, plus I think they are both nicer clubs than Hook.

As with any other clubs the quality would vary at times, but I never had any problems finding that special chica on any given night that I went there (including Sunday).

The Triangle won’t suite everyone’s taste, but I liked it for a number of reasons:

The Chicas:

As far as looks go, I think the girls at the Triangle are significantly better looking than the girls at Orleans/Exedra. However, the expensive clubs in Recoleta like Black and Madaho’s had more good looking girls, but they also had about 80 girls working in each club. One thing worth mentioning is that even though clubs like Black and Madaho’s have a bigger selection of sexy chicas, I honestly thought that several girls that I met here at the Triangle looked just as good as many of the girls in Black and Madaho’s.

The girls here were much nicer and down to earth. As long as I was setting by myself in the Triangle clubs, it would never be more than a few minutes before some girl would come over and set down with me. Even the ones that were standing at the bar or sitting across the room would at least offer flirtatious smiles. That’s an important part of the whole game for me. If a girl isn’t even good at flirting, I would hate to think of how she would perform in bed.

Atmosphere:

The atmosphere there was laidback and not high pressured. I had few girls come and sat down uninvited, but they were friendly and did not get offended when I didn’t buy them a drink or invite them to my hotel.

Another thing that was nice was that on some nights I showed up early (right around mid-night) and I was the only guy in Hook or Catto’s, so that made the girl to guy ratio around 10:1 or 12:1. I honestly can’t remember being at any place throughout my travels where the girl to guy ratio was ever better than 4:1 or 5:1. I’m just guessing at these numbers, but they’re probably pretty close.

Chica prices:

Asking prices were around AP $200, but I never paid more than AP $150 at Hook and/or Catto’s (half the price of the expensive clubs in Recoleta). The lowest price that I paid was AP $130 for a generous hour with a girl from Hook. One chica that I would rate as a solid 8.5, gave me toda la noche (TLN = all night), without me asking for it. I did give her a propinita, since I do not have a problem giving a little extra, if I am given a little extra.

It’s not all about the money to me. If this makes any since, I’m less concerned with stretching my dollar than I am with each dollar being well spent. Just to make a quick point, some of my favorite places in Rio happen to be some of the most expensive places in town. The service I get along with the attitude and appearance of the girls in these places make it well worth the extra buck or two for me. Not to harp on this issue much more, but I did not think that the expensive clubs in Recoleta offered as good of a cost/benefit ratio as the clubs in the Triangle. I will elaborate more on this as I continue my report.

Drink Prices:

Most of the girls that I met in BsAs could not speak hardly any English, but all of them knew how to say, “Buy me a drink??” Personally, I found the drink policies at all of the clubs to be very annoying and sometimes a royal pain in the ass. I’m guessing this must be a Spanish thing, since I’ve encountered the same deal in Mexico, but never in Brazil. Anyway, when compared to the clubs that I went to in Recoleta, the drink prices at the Triangle are the lesser of the two evils. AP $25 buys the chica a drink at Catto’s and it seems like the chica drinks were even a little cheaper at Hook, like around AP $20. I was never required to buy more than one drink before I could take a chica back to my hotel.

A few not so good things:

Lighting:

This mainly applies to Catto’s which I enjoyed very much, but it was pretty damn dark in there, so it was a little difficult to make a fair assessment of the chicas. The lighting at the bar is a little better, so I usually sat there until I could get a satisfying glimpse at my potential GF for the evening. Even though it was a little dark in Catto’s, I was never disappointed with any girls from there that I brought back to my hotel.

Quanity of chicas:

None of the clubs were ever packed when I went there. I would say that Hook/Catto’s usually had about 20 girls or so once things started picking up and Ness had a dozen at best. As long as you don’t go too early, it shouldn’t be very hard to choose a chica, but you may have to check out more than one of these three clubs before you find her.

I don’t really have too many complaints about the Triangle clubs. Personally, I would recommend starting your night out here and if you don’t find a chica that does it for you, then go check out some clubs in Recoleta.

Madaho’s
Azcuénaga, 1908 Esq. Vte López (Recoleta)
Tel: 4805-3208 / 4807-1311
Mon- Sun / 10pm – 5am
http://www.madahos.com/

Somewhat recommended. I went here on two different nights and two different times on one night. The main reason that I will recommend Madaho’s is because out of all the places that I went to they had the highest number of hot chicas under one roof, it’s a nice club in a nice part of town and they played excellent music every time I went there. However, there were several things about Madaho’s that I did not care for.

Number one… this place is damn expensive! Although the cover charge (AP $30) included my first drink, the price shoots back up to AP $30 per drink after that one. Chica drinks were a whopping AP $50.

I inadvertently took one for the team on my first night at Madaho’s. This might have been my own folly, but in my notes I had AP $200 as the going rate with some bargaining. I spoke with three different chicas there, but none of them would drop one centavo below AP $300. I thought that maybe I was there too early and that if they saw me leave they would realize that I was not going to pay any of them AP $300. With that in mind, I left and went to another club with the intention of going back to Madaho’s unless I found something better elsewhere. After some time went by, I decided to go back to Madaho’s, but when I went back the main girls that I wanted to talk to were no where to be found.

Every single girl that I spoke with in this place wanted AP $300 for an hour and they would not budge one peso less. I noticed that the girls did not mind discussing prices before you bought them drink (I guess that was because there wasn’t much to discuss… AP $300, take it or leave it), but you have to purchase them a drink before they are allowed to leave with you.

I walked around for a little while (which is not very fun in Madaho’s due to their L-shaped layout) and found a pretty sexy chica standing alone. I had higher hopes with this one than with the previous girls, because it was later and she seemed a bit nicer than the others. No such luck… She would not go below AP $300 either. At this point, I had surpassed my quota for having too much fun at Madaho’s for the evening, so I went to Exedra and had a threesome with two girls from there that ended up costing less than one girl from Madaho’s (AP $300 for the girl + AP $50 for the drink) . I do have to give the girls some credit though; they damn sure stuck to their guns. 300 pesos o bésame culo…

Speaking of Spanish… one thing that I should point out is that I have virtually no problems speaking basic Spanish. I have been working around Mexicans for well over a decade now and they have helped me learn Spanish, plus I live in a city heavily populated with Hispanics. While I’m definitely not the best and cannot write it worth a damn, I use it everyday and can speak & understand it sufficiently. I mention this only because I don’t want to give anyone the idea that I was walking up to chicas waiving two fingers in the air saying, “Two hundred pesos??” Well, anyway… I seriously have to ask myself if you can bargain a girl from Madaho’s down to AP $200 anymore. It seems like AP $300 is a firm rate now.

Also… attitude is in the midst. While there are some really hot girls here, they seem to have this chip on their shoulder. A lot of the girls in there just seemed unmotivated. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not expecting cartwheels or anything, but what’s wrong with showing a little enthusiasm? It’s not that hard, trust me. I’ve met girls that look just as good, if not better than Madaho’s girls that deliver Oscar quality performances.

Not to knock Madaho’s too much, because I know that it is probably some people’s favorite place, but several of the girls there just seem to have this “consider yourself lucky if I decide to leave with you” mentality.

I went back to Madaho’s on a different night to try my luck again. After arriving and taking a quick survey while drinking my beer, I saw a little Dominicana that had the best body in the place, cute face and a very friendly personality. A little eye contact and a smile was all it took and she was on her way. She had a good attitude and a very upbeat personality. There are a lot of girls at Madaho’s that could learn a thing or two from this chica.

Once again, this girl would not budge from AP $300. As I have mentioned previously in this report, I will give in to higher prices occasionally, but not just because the girl is hot. They need to have some enthusiasm too. Since this girl had both qualities, I decided to bow down to AP $300.

Back at the hotel this girl’s energy was amazing. Things started off with a hot shower and bbbj before moving to the bedroom where there was more bbbj action. Afterwards, we went at it in several positions including her on top, missionary and doggie. There was never a rush and this girl was a great performer from beginning to end.

One thing worth mentioning about Madaho’s is that they have something to suit just about everyone’s taste here. While I was there, I met girls from Venezuela, Paraguay, Dominican Republic and of course Argentina. I would be willing to bet there were a few Brazilians there too, but I did not come across any.

If the prices were a little lower and the chicas were friendlier, this place would have been one of my favorites.

Solid Gold
Azcuenaga, 1926 (Recoleta)
Tel: 4805-1321 / 4803-9293

Somewhat recommended. I debated on not even mentioning this place in my report because I didn’t stay very long and I don’t really remember the prices, but I’ll give it a shot anyway.

It seems like the entrance fee here was along the same lines of Black and Madaho’s (between AP $20 – 30). At first glance I liked this place right away, because it was big, they had a decent selection of girls and the lighting was better than some of the other clubs that I went to. It all stops there though.

On the first level of this club, they had a bar in the back where a lot of the chicas were congregating in the corner. I decided to go have a seat and drink a beer in that little area. While I was setting down, one of the girls came and set down next me. She was not the best looking chica in the place, but she had a nice body and was a nice girl.

We had been talking for a few minutes and I hear someone behind the bar using a raised voice trying to get my attention. I look up and there are two female bartenders looking at me and one of them says, “You have to buy her a drink”. I told her that we were just talking and she said, “Yes, but you have to buy her a drink if you want to talk to her”. Even if that is their policy they certainly could have been more tactful with how presented it to me. I did not appreciate these bitches interrupting my conversation and I damn sure didn’t like them barking orders at me (by the drink or else), I told them; “If that’s the case then the girl can leave, but don’t tell me that I HAVE to buy someone a drink. If I want anything from you, I’ll ask you for it”. They kept asking me why I was getting so mad, but I just continued towards the door.

Before I left, I decided to go check out the upstairs. It reminded me a little of Help, how you can look down at all of the chaos going on downstairs, but it was just a little bit less chaotic here…

One thing that I thought was kind of strange and funny at the same time, was this arrangement of chairs near the edge of the opening upstairs. They were all sat next to each other and faced straight ahead. It kind of reminded me of an elementary classroom or a Chinese clothing factory. I guess this is where the girls come when they are bored??

I didn’t see anything spectacular in Solid Gold, but it might have been too late when I went there or maybe it would have been better on a different night. Here again, the water is polluted by pushy bartenders trying to enforce house drink policies. To me, their desperation is just the sign of a not-so-good club. Madaho’s and Hook/Catto’s are at two entirely different ends of the spectrum, but not once was I ever pestered by the staff to buy a drink for a girl that I was talking to. Still, I liked the set-up of this place and would probably give it another try on a different trip. Maybe…

Black
Ayacucho, 1981 (Recoleta)
Tel: 4804-9652 / 9749
Mon-Sun
http://www.blackbuenosaires.com/

Overrated and somewhat recommended. While this is a nice establishment and they do have some really beautiful girls in there, I did not think that what they had to offer was anything that would warrant paying the US $150-200 prices that I have read about. I want to say that the entrance fee at Black is the same as Madaho’s (AP $30), if not the exact same, it’s within a few peso of the same price.

I went in and stood by the bar next to two Argentine chicas (one was incredibly sexy). The conversation seemed to be going pretty good, so I asked the sexy chica how many pesos for a little fun back at my hotel. As soon as I completed the sentence she tells me that I have to buy her a drink before she can discuss that. She did not make any effort to be tactful about telling me this, it was just like “Buy me a drink first” and it kind of reminded me of an infomercial were they just will not tell you the price until the very end (mainly, because what they are selling is not worth the money). I told her thanks anyway and walked away to the other side of the bar.

It was really unfortunate that this girl was not more flexible about discussing prices before making me buy her an expensive, overpriced drink, because she was so hot and I was so horny that I probably would have paid handsomely for her (and a drink to get her out). Oh well, her stubbornness just saved me enough money for 4-trips to Santa Fe or 3-girls from the Triangle. For me, that was a win-win situation.

While on the other side of the bar, I surveyed the area. Yes, there are some very beautiful girls in this place, but I saw a few here that I would not even waste my time with. To tell the truth, the ratio of good looking girls here was not really any better than what was available at the Triangle.

I caught the sexy girl and her friend looking at me a couple of times after I left and the chica that I was talking to had this look to her like she could not believe that I just walked away so fast after she insisted that I buy her a drink before negotiating. While I realize that I did not benefit too much by turning down this beautiful woman, if I made it a little easier on the next guy that approached her, well…. You’re welcome, amigo.

I only went to Black once on this trip and don’t think that I really gave it a fair enough chance, but I already had a taste of some better options in BA before I went to there and was spoiled by better deals. By the time I went inside Black it was close to 3am and this little voice kept telling me “… only a few more hours and Santa Fe 1707 will be open”.

At Black, I knew that I was looking at no less than US $150 (if I was lucky) and having to buy the chica an expensive drink(s). Whereas if I could just hold off for a few more hours, I could have a girl that looks almost as good, but I would only have to pay AP $100 for the same amount of time with a chica. I decide to go back to my hotel and wait.

Girls at Black and any other club that refuse to discuss prices before you buy them a drink shoot themselves in the foot as far as I’m concerned. I do not mind shelling out a few extra pesos for their drinks, but not before I at least begin negotiating. I’ve read that chica drinks at Black start out at AP $50 and may cost up to AP $85 depending on which drink the girl orders and I’ve also read that there is a 2-drink minimum before the girl can leave. Can anyone say, “Rip-off”?

I just couldn’t see investing that kind of money in chica drinks before I knew what price the she would require. It’s a stupid way to do business. If her rock bottom price is US $200, than I’m out at least 50 – 85 pesos. Sure, I’ll buy the drink, but not before I know what the final price is going to be. Just curious, how many guys out there have bought the chica a drink, but could not come to an agreement with them?

Since there are some really beautiful women in Black, I’ll give it a recommendation mainly for those wanting to splurge, but I think that there are much better options in BA for finding chicas.

”What’s Up?” fka Closer
on Guido near Junin (Recoleta)

Not recommended. This place is crap. Is this even a place to pick-up chicas? It truly sucked here. When I went in there it looked like a bunch of locals just sitting down socializing. Don’t ask me why, but I ordered a beer and decided to have a seat. The whole time I was in there, I kept asking myself, “What in the hell am I doing here?”

I did see one girl standing in the back of this place that was definitely on the program, but she had about as much business in here as I did.

Don’t be tricked into wasting your time and money in this place as I was. The taxi cab driver took me here, because all of the other clubs in Recoleta were supposedly closed. Looking back, I would be willing to bet that he got a kickback from the doorman for bringing me here.

This place is easy to recognize, because there is a big blue neon sign on that outside that says “What’s Up” and you have to walk up some stairs to get inside.

If you are convinced that all of the other clubs really are closed and “What’s Up” is your only option, now would be a good time to check out Café Orleans if you have been avoiding it.

AVOID!!!

Here are two clubs that I never even went inside due to their overly aggressive (almost desperate) tactics. Special thanks to the forum for forewarning me about these kinds of places that lure you in, set expensive drinks down on your table and demand that you pay up. Again, I did not go inside either of these two places, but I have a sneaking suspicion that they are both rip-off joints.

Pussy Club (??)
On Cordoba between Maipu and Suipacha (??)

Sorry I don’t have the exact location for this place, but I want to mention it anyway. This place is located on the same side of Cordoba as Exedra and it seems like it was between Maipu and Suipacha. Looking at Jackson’s Microcenter map, the Pussy Club may be the place that I am referring to.

The scene here is a guy standing outside and literally begs people to come inside. I only passed by this place one time and he was trying to give me some kind of card that could be redeemed for a drink special.

As a rule of thumbs, I never entered any establishments that had pushy people working the entrance or have not been mentioned in the forum already and this place fell into both categories. Aside from this guy’s desperate attempts to get me to come inside “only to look”, I was even more leery when he refused to give me a card for this place. My guess is that he might have suspected that I would use it to give them some bad press if he let me leave with this place’s name/location info. If that’s the case, he made the right decision by not giving it to me.

This place may be ok, but I personally think that if a place is really worth going to, its reputation will sell itself and you don’t need these guys standing out front begging people to come in.

Croupier
Carlos Pellegrini, 469 (very close to the Obelisco)
Tel: 4326-8005

Two times I was pestered by the jerks that work at the entrance of this place. The first time I was innocently taking a picture of the Obelisco (unfortunately, this place is located in a perfect area to take a picture) and I can hear these guys yapping behind me trying to get my attention to come inside this club. These guys will not take no for an answer and were way more pushy than the man in front of Pussy Club (??). I finally just walked away and left them talking to themselves.

I made the mistake of walking by this place again on a different day after coming back from the grocery store on Rivadavia. I was carrying two heavy bags while I walked in front of them and one of the two guys kept insisting that I come in and take a look. I showed him my bags (as if it wasn’t obvious already), but he didn’t give a shit that I just left a grocery store and he still kept insisting that I come in to look. Finally, I just told him, “I’m NOT interested! I DON’T give a shit!!” and would you believe that this jerk tells me, “Just come look! Only to look!!” Unbelievable.

Unless, someone can provide a good report on this place, I recommend avoiding these assholes and their club.

Non-P4P

Kilkenny's Irish Bar
Reconquista, 1000
Tel: 4312-7291

I went to Kilkenny’s on a Monday night and was amazed at how packed this place was. After a few pints of Guiness, I couldn’t wait to get acquainted with one of the chicas here.

The music here was excellent. They played everything from The Eagles, Guns N' Roses, Metallica, Led Zeppelin, you name it. This place was really cool. The bar was filled predominately with locals so being the gringo that I am, I’m sure that I stood out like a sore thumb. No matter though, pretty chicas, good music and cold beer will cure any problem.

I couldn’t help but notice this really cute girl not too far from where I was standing and I could tell that she was into the music being played. It was a past 1am, so after finishing my last few sips of the nectar of life, I decide to ask her if she knew what time the bar was going to close. Eureka!! She spoke perfect English. The conversation led into music and the rest was history. She said that she learned English in school and that she “loved English”. We sat down at a table and talked for close to 2-hours. I was having a great time, but was so tired that I had to concentrate on keeping my eye lids opened.

I got the girl’s cell phone number and we planned on going somewhere the next night.

FYI, if you come here, be sure to bring a copy of your passport. I didn’t have one with me, but the doorman had a good laugh when I showed him my hotel room card and decided to let me in. Maybe that’s all they really need to see…

Paloko Belgrano Bowling
Av. Cabildo, 450
Tel: 4775-8279

By her request, we came here and played pool one night and bowled on another night. I have to admit I had a lot of fun doing this. Another plus about coming here was that it was dirt cheap. To rent a table or a lane for one hour was around AP $21. Where I live, that’s a few dollars shy of being half the price for pool and almost a third of the price to rent a lane for an hour.

I had a lot of fun with this girl. We came here a few times and went to a couple of restaurants. I never hit a home run, but we did have some pretty intense make out sessions back at my hotel.

Some folks may consider this kind of stuff to be a waste of time, but it was quite the opposite for me. This girl could not stay out too late on any given night, so it never interfered with my p4p activity. And to tell the truth, sometimes I think the chase can be just as fun as the kill.


Hotel Info

Sheraton Libertador
Avenida Cordoba, 690
Phone 011 (54 11) 4321-0000
Fax 011 (54 11) 4322-9703
http://www.sheraton.com

I checked on several different hotels and ended up staying at the Sheraton Libertador. The price was very reasonable considering how nice the hotel was.

The location is within walking distance from Excedra and Café Orleans. I usually walked to the Triangle and Santa Fe 1707, but it's only a 3 peso cab ride if you don't feel like walking.

They had a very friendly guest policy, but the girl has to have her ID and fill out a form at the reception desk before she is allowed in your room. They don't charge any 'fees' for allowing a girl to your room either. Also, no more than one guest is allowed in your room at one time.

The room safe is about the size of a shoebox and there is no charge for it as long as you return the lock and key upon checking out.

They had a very good breakfast that was included with the price of the room. Their daily breakfast included sausage, bacon, fried & scrambled eggs, hash browns, breads, pastries, fruits and juices.

I don't know what their rating is, but it was very nice hotel in a good location and I never had any problems with their guest policy.


Tourist Info


San Telmo Market

I didn't think there was anything that great about this market. It's a decent size market, but most people were peddling trinkets and old junk that I wouldn't want to bring back home.

They did have a few interesting things here such as silver goods, but nothing too great. It may be fun to go there and just to look around, but I suggest saving your money for the Caminito fair in La Boca. The selection of souvenirs and paintings in Caminito is like night and day compared to the San Telmo Market.

If it is raining on the Sunday that you plan on going to San Telmo, don't lose too much sleep if you decide not to go.


Recoleta Cemetery

I thought it was somewhat weird for this place to be such a popular tourist point, but nevertheless I had a few hours to kill on my last day in BsAs and decided to check it out.

If you've ever been to the cemetery in New Orleans, it is a poor man's cemetery when compared to this one. These were some of the most extravagant mausoleums that I have ever seen. I have no idea how much these things cost, but I'd be willing to bet that a lot of them cost more than an average house in the US.

It wasn't my life ambition to see Eva Peron's mausoleum, but if you take the time to come here, I guess this is the one you would want to see.

Unless you are going here on a guided tour, good luck finding her mausoleum. For those interested, I will do my best to tell you how to get there.

Go in through the main entrance (hopefully this is considered the 'main' entrance) and continue straight until you come upon an obstruction in the middle of the walkway. Take a left and continue until you come upon another obstruction in the middle of the walkway. Take a right and walk past three corridors on your left-hand side and you should see people gathering in front of Eva's mausoleum in the fourth corridor on your left. That's how you get there... I think. On the flip side of the coin, her's was not anything special as far as I could see. They had many other ones there that made hers look very plain.

Anyway, if you have extra time and want to see something different, come here.


La Boca - Caminito

I gotta say this was my favorite tourist place that I went to. You definitely get more South American vibes while you are in Caminito than you do downtown. All of the multi colored houses, street performers playing Latin American percussion and tango dancers made for an awesome site.

As mentioned earlier, this is where I recommend that you do your shopping for any souvenirs that you want to buy. Everything here was very reasonable and you have a good selection to choose from. I picked up some awesome paintings here that only cost AP $50.

One thing worth avoiding while at Caminito is the river across the street. I walked over to it for a photo op and the rancid smell hit me right in the face. A British lady was walking back to Caminito from the river and I never heard so many cuss words come from an elderly lady. Man, she was pissed!

Also, don’t let the guy at the entrance of Caminito con you into to using one of his no named taxis. Use Radio Taxi’s only!! I had to walk a few blocks before I found one, but it was well worth it.


Safety

I think safety is one of Buenos Aires’s biggest attributes. So many times while I was there, I noticed policemen standing on the corner of every block making a presence and I never saw any crime. Some very late nights I walked down Suipacha, Maipu and Cordoba, but never had a problem. I’ll go as far to say that safety could even be a deciding factor for one to choose going to BsAs.

I did however find myself right in the storms eye of a ‘manifestación’ while I was there. I was in very close proximity of a political demonstration in Austria a few years ago, but this was before 911 and all of the propaganda that followed it.

I don’t know the entire story, but this one had to do with a lot of people that were killed in Argentina exactly one year ago from that date. I was returning from Caminito and couldn’t help, but notice hundreds of buses lined up on Av. 9 de Julio. Due to the congested traffic, I mistakenly told the driver to let me out near the Obelisco and would walk to Cordoba from there. Yeah right… No sooner did I exit the taxi when I saw thousands of protesters that were crowding Av. 9 de Julio and ALL surrounding streets. I could not find my way out of this one. Every time I turned a street corner, there were thousands of demonstrators heading right towards me.

It seemed like a non-violent demonstration, but I could have sworn that I heard gun and rifle fire on several occasions. Later on, my girl insisted that this was fireworks and looking back she was probably right. However, if you are in that situation and think you hear gun fire, but it really is just fireworks… it might as well be gun fire.

I eventually I found a cab that got me back to Cordoba via the scenic route and was surprised to see how calm things were there.

My girl told me that these sort of demonstrations or ‘manifestaciones’ occur on a regular basis in BsAs, but I still think the city is very safe.

Additionally, there were practically zero people on the streets begging for money or trying to sell stolen watches or jewelry. That was a major plus in my book.

Taxis

This is another advantage of BsAs. I don’t know what’s worse, the taxis in Rio or the green taxis in Mexico City. Both of them must be ranked amongst the world’s worst. However, I actually felt at ease using Radio Taxis in BsAs.

In Brazil, you practically have to ‘remind’ EVERY taxi driver to turn his meter on, but when using Radio Taxis in BsAs, as soon as you tell the driver where you want to go, that meter is turned on. Only once did my driver forget to turn his meter on one day coming back from Santa Fe, but as soon I pointed it out to him, he said the fair would be AP $3 (which was the correct fair).

Don’t be fooled by Radio Taxi wannabes that try to through you off with a name similar to Radio Taxi, but slightly different. There are several different lines of Radio Taxis, but the best one that I tried to use whenever possible was Radio Taxi Premium 5238-0000.


$$Dinero$$

ATMs

I didn’t know just how many ATM machines there are in BsAs. You can’t walk more than a few feet before you come across one. The one I used was right across the street from my hotel and I never had any problems using it at whatever time:

Banco Ciudad
Av. Cordoba, 675

One feature that I liked about this one was that you had to slide your card to unlock the door, as you would at your hotel room. So, the only people that enter the ATM area are those that already have cards and already have money, right? I never had any problems. The single biggest withdraw that you can make is AP $300, but you can reinsert your card and repeat the process. If I remember right, the most I ever withdrew in a 24-hour period was AP $1,000.

Traveler’s Checks

American Express
Arenales, 707

Avoid the above address and using Traveler’s Checks. Period. I always bring $500 in Traveler’s Checks whenever I make long trips, because you never know… Well, I will NEVER bring Traveler’s Checks with me to BsAs again. NEVER! They are closed on Saturdays, Sundays and Holidays and their system is so slow and pathetic, it even made me think that Traveler’s Checks will become extinct within the next 10-15 years.

It took me 45-minutes to wait in two different lines before I was able to cash my checks. Huge hassle, big pain in the ass, frustrating, waste of time. Don’t bother with them (especially in BsAs).

On a different note… the girl that coordinates the lines and incoming traffic was one of the cutest girls that I saw in BsAs. She had beautiful face, light hazel eyes, soft tanned complexion and hair right out of a Pantene commercial. Ok, maybe standing in the line wasn’t so bad after all. Friends, she is sweeter than Tupelo honey.

But seriously, don’t waste your time with Traveler’s Checks. In the future, my emergency money will be just that. Money.


At the airport

Watch out for long lines coming and going.

Arriving… I don’t know if the AA flight from Miami is just an overwhelming flight or what, but when I arrived in BsAs, the immigration line was laughable. It took so many twist, turns and curves you didn’t know if the person next to you had been there for an hour or just came in line 5-minutes ago. I did notice a sign apologizing for the long lines, so maybe that was just a one time thing. It was truly an unorganized mess though.

Departing… Make sure you get to the airport with LOTS of time to spare. If I’ve counted all of them, you have to stand in 6-lines before you get on the plane and in the second line you have to pay a ‘departure tax’ to leave the country. It’s some weird number like US $18 or AP $50, your choice. Also, you will be required to submit the card that you completed before you landed in BsAs to immigration before you depart (I think this is line #5). Of course I could not find mine and had to redo it. By the time I boarded the plane, take off time was in 15-minutes. Not cool. Don’t waste any time at this airport, amigos. Get in line as soon as possible.


A few final thoughts…

This was my second destination in South America, the other one being Rio and when it comes down to the sex business, Rio beats BsAs hands down. No need to argue about it folks, it’s that simple. A big indicator for me was when my driver was taking me to my hotel from the airport, he was telling me about the different tourist points, whereas that same taxi ride in Rio discusses the best places to get laid.

But… on a vacation, there are more things going on than just sex (right??). A few things that were very attractive about BsAs (besides the ladies) to me were that it is a clean, safe city. The sex market is definitely good and the food is world-class.

There are plenty of drop dead gorgeous women in BsAs. The mix here is very appealing. I don’t know all the history, but the girls here had an incredible blend of European Spanish, Italian and some German. For some reason, the German influence just doesn’t seem to work in Brazil, but it’s quite nice in BsAs. The everyday girls that you see on the streets are unbelievably beautiful.

The next time I come here, I plan on hitting a lot of the clubs that I missed out on in Recoleta and visiting the Flores area. If you haven’t been to BsAs yet, you are only cheating yourself. This was my first trip and most definitely not my last.

Well, amigos that’s about it for me. Have fun in Buenos Aires!

Y & R