Uriburu 541, Piso 1 F

Near Lavalle. 3 chicas. 40p 30 mins. 60p hour. 4373 5179. 24/6. Closed 8pm Sunday.

Clarin AD Noi (21) 4375-0216. I called looking for my ever elusive milk maid. The receptionist confirmed, Quoted me 150p the hour and gave me the address. I cross checked "the list" and found it. The price differential made me highly suspicious, but then I was looking for a fetish.

Went Friday. Didn't say anything about Noi as I wanted to get a handle on the nonfetish price structure. Asked her what the rates were. She wouldn't say. Said first I have to pick a girl and then she'd quote the price. OH Goodie, I love to play the price is right! Bring the contestants in.

Four were introduced, all very young. One young spinner, One beauty, One fatty, and one stout. I picked the stout one as her breasts were the largest (full of milk) How much? 120P how much the half hour 80p. I protested at how expensive the place was. She assured me the one I chose would be well worth the investment. She will do anything and swallows too.

I figured I won the game (if she were the milker) as she quoted me 150p on the phone and 120p now. I went for it. Well worth it. Luciena 21 Paraguay. The best tounge action I've had in a long time. Bessos negros, DFK, fucks like a rabbit and sucks the crome off a trailer hitch. Very hot and active the whole time. But I didn't win the lottery, no milk.

Returned Monday planning to try the beauty (positive thinking she would be the milker.) Was taken into a small cubicle with single bed. This is one of those one room apts with cardboard partitions making 2 service rooms and a causeway. I told the madame the facility was not adequate. The other room at least had a double bed and window. How long till it´'s avaiable? An hour she says. Fine I'll be back in an hour. I break for the door after a momentary claustraphobic panic attack. She grabs me and holds me at the door saying I can have the other room.

She makes me stay in the closet room with the girls while this other guy exits. My voice is not soft and penetrates cardboard very easily. This guy leaving an hour early makes me think more about Gringo price gouging. He probably paid 30p and is getting the boot for my 120p. Maybe even a refund.

I tell her I want miss beautimus. She says she's not available. What do you mean, she's sitting right next to me. I'm not used to being told I can't have something. And anyway, I thought we were playing the price is right. I insisted and the madame refuses and leads me into the other room. Then she tells me miss beautimus is a Travie. I don't believe her. She her in, pulls her panties down, and I turn red. Ok I believe ya, I'll have the young skinny one. OK 200p the hour. WHAT? When the one with some tits is only 120. She's 18.

OK, I didn't get that price right. Too rich for my blood no matter what her age, and titless too. Just for arguments sake, How much for the beautiful one with the extra equipment I can't have? 100p.

I think I'll have miss fatty, how much? 150p the hour. What's the deal with her? Don't tell me she's got a dick too. No, she a milker. BINGO I found my milk maid. But too fat for me. Give me tried and true tounge up the ass swallow the load Luciena. Old home week and she got me off in about 30 min witt a great roar of delight. Shortly the knock. She had another customer and thought she could short me 30 minutes. I firmly protested then she tried to get me to go into the closet. I told her, through the cardboard, and everyone within shouting distance including the doorman "I'll move when she refunds my money."

There was general comotion on the other side. But then I heard my neighbor start banging. Luciena said everything was ok and I got my full hour. But I guess the tenor of my voice called for reinforcements. There was a very big faggot waiting to let me out the door. I suspect the husband of miss beautimus. And Luciana told me the 100p was for his dick up my ass.

There you have it folks: the updated price structure:

100p miss beautimus dick up your ass
120p Luciana's tounge up tour ass and the best BBBJ in town
150p Miss Fatty's milk bath
200p Miss Twiggy a titless bottle blond 17 y/o virgin who does everything
2p Forgot to mention the attempted condom shakedown. Told her piss off at these prices. This was another indicator I was getting a good Yankee fucking.

I shall not return.

Storm,

That is the funniest shit I've read in a long time.

Thanks for the Christmas merriment.

Jack

I nominate Normin for monger king. He's got questionable morals, stamina, persistence, and most important, a sense of humor.

Definitely a report of distinction. Thank you, Norman!

But - the picture "Monger King" brings to my mind is just plain wrong:

Like Burger King, but with girls on the menu?

I passed by two days ago. A gay guy opens the door and presents the girls. All of them quite young but ugly and fat (which is not my cup of tea) I decline the girls which makes the gay guy mad. When I wanted to leave the guy starts yelling, shouting that I am not serious and only interested in peeking the girls.

I will NOT return.

Normin,

That has got to be one of the funniest reports I've read on here for a long time. Great job!

At least they told you about the 100p service. It would have made for a much more amusing story, if they hadn't.

I was here yesterday. There were two girls, and I was quoted 60 pesos for the half hour and 100 pesos for the hour. The 100 pesos for the hour included cola.

I spent the hour with an attractive blond named Yamila who had a fun attitude. She's half-German, from Paraguay, thus the caucasian looks. She had a hard time with cola, but gave BBBJ (no DFK, though) Body not slender, but not fat. And her breasts were pretty much perfect in my book.

This wasn't one of those rare "wow" experiences, but it was a pleasant one, and a nice change of pace from the usual fare of morocha girls or girls of Southern European heritage.

And as always I'm a stickler about price. I know some people have been quoted higher prices, but it was definitely 60/100 for me, so don't let them charge you more.

Conventional 70p 30 min. 100p hour, Completo 80p 30 min. 120p hour.