Artisttyp Trip Report 2009/ Final Thoughts
Once again I must return to my cell block in New York City. I leave buenos aires with a feeling of success and fullfilment. All thanks due to AP ISG and all its contributing members. I sincerely thank you and hope that my few words will be of assistance to you.
BACKROUND:
I am a budget monger who travels frequently to south america. This was my third trip to buenos aires. My last trip here was around three years ago. On these past two visits I stayed a month. All my time was spent in buenos aires proper (la ciudad) wandering the streets and checking out privados. It wasn't until this trip that I added in the "foodie" routine.
I am 39 years young. Turkish greek russian. Looks italian. Few tattoos. I have a decent knowledge of spanish but I also deal with a speech impediment. Obviously it doesnt affect what I do. I even got a freebie this time around.
I describe myself to you not for my pleasure but for a better understanding of who I am and what I might have to deal with.
MONEY:
The most important question I had prior to arriving was is it still affordable for a budget monger? I did recieve some helpful answers but hopefully I can make it even more clear to others. The answer is "yes" but it depends on what you expect.
I consider high end budget mongering to be $50 a session mid Range to be between $27/40. Anything less would be rock bottom budget*although not rock bottom service.
Currently BA falls into the mid-range towards my limit of $50. I never went over the $50 but I came close to it a few times. Normally I fell into the $32 range which includes a 20 pesos tip average for good service.
The drill usually was 100 to 120 pesos for a session then a tip for good service. I would say add 20 pesos to whatever the session costs if you expect to ask for anything like bbbj etc.
I like to do two sessions a day but I only did that a few times this trip. I didn't miss out on anything really. I focused on other projects besides mongering. I became a foodie. I walked the streets for hours looking at architecture. Musuems are practically free. I did those. Basically I made my own itinerary and kept myself occupied enough that a session once a day was sufficient.
On some days I had left over money and I used it for a second session the following day. I was here for a month.
If you are on a budget and want to come down and just fuck all day you will be disappointed. If you add the other activities in and are open minded you can still have a good time for a reasonable amount of money. However BA is at my limit. If prices increase anymore I would not return.
I usually give myself between $100 to $130 a day when mongering. Here I gave myself $150 a day but I didnt use all of it. Only if I bought something for myself which *will happen.
You need at least $100 a day *pocket money to live it up $120 would be more reasonable. Alot of people will argue that you can do it for less but then IMHO don't come down if you are going to eat at all you can eat chinese owned buffets. Count on paying between $10-13 for lunch and $20-25 for dinner and it will be worth every penny you spend.
APARTMENT:
I stayed at one of Sly one's apartments in Recoleta. Sly one is a AP member as well as an ISG member. He throws excellent orgys in Lima. That is where I met him.
First and foremost I would like to say it was a pleasure to do business with him. He is a man of his word and the service he provides is top notch.
I payed $1300 US dollars for the month. The apartment was located 7 blocks from Recoleta cemetario and about 6 blocks from the "aguero" subway station "D" line.
My apartment was larger than the other ones he rents but I would have still been happy with those.
You can rent an apartment for cheaper in BA but I liked the services he provided:
Maid service included three times a week.
Full of ammenities like microwave fridge safe cooking pans, terrace, two queen beds *adapters etc.
When Sly does something he does it right and I admire that.
I will stay here again as long as Sly and his assistant are in charge.
Neighborhoods:
Where do I stay?
I will break it down starting at san telmo working my way up to palermo.
San Telmo- Great cute little tango neighborhood where on sundays is the place to be seen. Plaza dorrego and the Sunday market is the center of the action. Currently there is obnoxious construction taking place all along calle defensa (where you want to be!) It will be a few months until that clears up.
Besides that its cute and cheap your food options are lame and you don't have immediate access to the subte (subway)
Basically if you are in san telmo its like " see you later. Maybe!") IMHO you are out of the loop.
MICROCENTRO / OBELISCO.
This is ground zero for privados. You are always one or two blocks away from a piece of ass. However so is everyone elses ass in your face.
Overcrowded.
Mini version of nyc times square.
Noisy.
Can be dangerous on side streets at night.
*Eventually this area will drive you nucking futs!
Another problem I have with staying here is that you will never get a feel for the real buenos aires. You will not understand its people or feel the soul of the city. Also you will not be engulfed in beautiful architecture like you would be in other neighborhoods.
BETWEEN MICROCENTRO AND ONCE.
I would say from 9 de julio up until purreydon down towards rivadavia and plaza misereie is this area. On my last trip I stayed on riobamba and saramiento. I was around two blocks from avenida corrientes and two subway stops to el obolisco. It was a perfect neighborhood to be in if you wanted to be close to the action but away from the hustle and bustle if need be.
I stayed at a hotel lyon for $60 a night. There are several small hotels along saramiento and in this square radius. Although I doubt many have wensites.
I like this as an alternative to the triangle microcentro area.
RECOLETA:
Is on the opposite side of ONCE. Most exclusive neighborhood in buenos aires but still affordable and with amazing architecture. At night it is about a 10 pesos taxi ride to the privados. Its like the beverly hills the upper east side the south beach etc. Etc. *It is still affordable. I ate in a number of places for reasonable in my area and around recoleta.
PALERMO:
"You live all the way up there. Bummer" Yes and no. Palermo is about as far as I would recommend anybody to go. The term palermo breaks down into many different areas. For your sake just think furthest north from everything but very hip trendy and quiet neighboorhood. There is excellent subway access and great food *but do you want to do an extensive subway ride everytime you want to get laid? Does it matter that a cab will cost you around $6 min from microcentro at night when the metro closes at 10:30pm. Is waiting for a bus an option for you?
Bottom line. Great cheap quiet neighborhood. A must vist and must eat neighborhood (avenida honduras why costa rica. Lots of great food) but not a must stay for me. Too far. Too residencial for my tastes.
Remember san telmo would be furthest south palermo furthest north. There are other neighborhoods but not worth mentioning to tourists.
GIRLS:
What types of girls do you get on a budget? You get a little bit of everything. White meat under $50 was my theme for the trip but it dwindled into whatever gets me off for under $50. I had all shapes all sizes. I was happy. I even had some really young cute girls and then I had some middle aged and even a MILF sucked my knob graciously.
If you are not flexible in shapes and sizes budget mongering in BA is not for you. If you like all kinds of pussy just not ugly or obese then you will do fine.
The odd thing about this trip is I got CIM more times then I've had in any other country. The title used to belong to el salvador but not anymore. I have had some excellent sessions here! Also some half assed ones but not more than 3.
I took one girl (diamond in the rough) from a budget privado and had her come to my apartment at 11am one morning. She was right and time and turned me out for 200 pesos = $52. You can do things like this at times.
FOOD:
Don't come to BA and look for all you can eat buffets. For christs sake put $35/40 aside a day for food and sit in a restaurant like a human being. You can't go wrong with the argentine parillas and italian restaurant. Alot of these places offer lunch deal entree drink and desert plus tip for around $9 US.
If you see a place with 1940s decor and waiters in bowties and slicked back hair chances are the food is good. If you stray away from the local places and go for trendy you will be paying for ambiance and not food. Neither your pocket or your stomach will thank you. I learned this very quickly during my transformation into a foodie.
Lunch is $10-13 Dinner is $15-23. All prices include tip wine desert drinks etc. Follow this rule and you will feel like a king. Try to go exotic and you will pay north american prices maybe higher! And you will not be getting great food. Even at a low end chinese joint I felt taken for $9. In nyc I could get just what I wanted for $6 or less.
You want exotic you pay and you don't get the authenticity.
SHOPPING:
Forget about it. The entire United States is on sale right now. People are giving stuff away on ebay. I see tons of leather but tons of low quality produced items. The fact that you can get a leather jacket tailor made for you means squat to me. I would rather walk into any army navy store in the usa and buy a "shott" brand cowhide jacket. The carpincho skin is very unique and worth a buy. Maybe a belt or some dress shoes but everything else IMHO is a better deal in america.
I am bringing back chocolates and other homemade sweets.
If you like jewelry you may want to check out calle libertad. There are very uniqie gold with silver medallions that I purchased. If you are catholic you will have beautiful pieces to choose from.
NIGHTLIFE:
Way too fucking late for me. From what little of it I saw I wasnt impressed. Just people sitting or standing around drinking. There is nothing you can't do before 12am that staying up any later can offer you. Chances are you will not be able to sleep in late anyway! Hooker bars / Boliches / Swinger parties etc. May be the exception.
WEATHER:
The weather was excellent. I dread having to go back to nyc hot and humid. I needed a wool shirt a jacket and a scarf. There were a few days I enjoyed having my flannel lined jeans but not often. I did not use my scarf everyday. Great walking weather. Bring comfortable shoes.
WHAT IS BUENOS AIRES LIKE?
It like a cross between new york city and paris but cheaper and with affordable pussy. The stress level is the same. Its over crowded and the middle class live miserable lifes. A two hour daily commute each way is not uncommon. For most people here its hell on earth. I would never live here but I would visit for a few months. If I lived somewhere else in south america I would come down here for short trip to be somehwere *halfway to civilization. Once here I would remind myself why I don't live in this enviorment anymore and return to my twilight zone in peru or colombia.
TOURETTES RANT:
God Bless South America.
Argentina Private Rules.
* Jackson numero 1
******LIVE LIFE, EAT ASS******
BUY CARHARTT.
MISC:
Favorite Privados and why:
El templo de andrea- Great budget privado with outstanding service. Cim everytime for me. The madam is a sweetheart. 100 pesos the hour.
Gysells- Also offers excellent service with the best looking girls for 150 pesos (10pm-10am special)
This place is clean and the madam is very courteous. Free drink upon arrival.
343 Uruguay buzzer 1- I fell in love with this place. Went back last night again. Yet another madam and yet a different line up. I've been three times and three times cum in mouth and three times a a happy camper. Going back for number 4. Muy tranquilo enviornment. Id like to fuck alot more of pussies in there. Open 24/7 makes me even more happy. 100 pesos the hour.
Suipacha 771 piso 2H at cordoba- This place really doesnt belong with the other but I went there on a Sunday twice and I got my rocks off. Not the greatest looking chicas but I always *unexpectedly found something. The madam was nice.
Libertad 423 piso 5- I only went here once but I had a killer session here cim with a tough looking *****. I love eating bitchy womens pussies so thats the image I left with. When she took the cum in her mouth I was at awe. I was waiting for her to shit on me or kick me in the balls. The madam seemed cool and the girls seemed willing to do extras.
PRIVADO ETIQUITTE:
The first few seconds upon entering a privado are important. The vibes you give off will set the tone for the negotiations.
At the buzzer say "chicas" when they say "hola". Do not complicate it any further. If you hear them babble on in spanish it means that they are coming downstairs to open the door for you. Be patient some times the elevator take awhile or they are waiting to let a client out of the building.
Always be a varon with the madam. Extend a handshake or a kiss on the cheek. I usually intrduce myself. First name only.
Be specific as to what you want to happen prior to paying.
Keep a list of other privados on you in case they try to change the price on you. If so casually take out your list and show them where they went wrong.
Shower, you fucking animal!
COMPLAINTS:
Get a 10 items or less line in the supermarkets. Fucking ridiculous.
Print some goddamn paper money. I've been getting wet toilet tissue back for change.
Pick the dog shit off the street. Hang the fuckers who let their dogs do this. I've been dodging land mines for a month. I had to pick it out of my hiking boots twice with a business card.
FAVORITE FOOD JOINTS:
Plaza Austrias - salta why avenida de mayo on the corner-cash only argentine cuisine great deals.
La Baita Thames 1603 ESquina de honduras palermo tel 4832-7234 palermo.
Excellent italian food. Not argentine italian fusion but *italian. I had the ossobucco.
Edelweiss- libertad 431 Typical Argentine Cuisine for business men. Go here at lunch time and feel important. Guys with suites abound but the prices are right and the service is royal / first class.
Can you believe the waiter covered my $60 construction jacket with a white table cloth so it wouldnt get dirty. God bless him.
HAIRCUTS:
I will never again ask for an old fashioned taper in South America. Hell most times they don't have but one blade for the machine.
I walked past a place called " la peluqueria" a hair joint for men. Paragauy 1486 tel 4811-1103. I saw a few guys lined up there and somewhat decent heads in the chair but not like my italian barber at home.
Get a haircut before you come.
Many thanks to tejano libre. He was a good buddy to me. Thank you for showing me around and giving me your time. It was very much appreciated. We will see each other again for sure.
TL would be a good guy to ask questions to. Invite him for a beer and you WILL be entertained.
Thank you Gman, Sidney, Phoenix Mike, Sly, Tessan. El Alamo and everbody else.
PM me if you need to.
Forever Grateful,
Artisttyp.
LIVE LIFE, EAT ASS.
Please excuse the typos. I will try to fix them later.
Question about entering countries
This may not belong here but Id like to here what people have to say.
Question:
I want to leave America and move to South America living on a tourist visa. Lets say I buy a ticket from NYC to Lima and start from there. Would I be able to get into Lima or any other country without a *return ticket back to the United States? Would customs need to see proof that I am moving on?
In three months?
I could buy an open ticket from an airline good for a year but I would have to keep changing it as I moved from country to country. Or not?
Also has anybody had problems entering a country with a mailing address different than what is on your passport? Ie. If I moved to south america I would give up my nyc residence and basically have no set home. My drivers license / passport would still have my old address on it. Does this show on the customs computers?
I could alter a reservation in photoshop but I would rather not.
Thank you for your response.
