The most disgusting bed north of Rivadavia
After trying to find Majo and Valeria at Viamonte 1668 (unfortunately both have moved on -- que lastima grande) I went back towards my barrio and decided to have a look at B. Mitre 1831. After all, I had two prior experiences which were pretty good (Camila) and okay (Nadia) both well worth the expense.
I probably should point out that both times I went in the morning. Good call, apparently. You'll see why if you read further.
Of the chicas that were presented to me, none of them were stellar, or even attractive, but I liked Florencia's smile and attitude, so I thought, "why not?"
During the line up I didn't detect her bad breath, but when she came back and started talking to me it smelled as if she had been giving out too many besos negros without even brushing her teeth. Whatever, I thought, I smell with my nose, and so it didn't make much of a difference while she was giving me a BBBJ. No talent whatsoever in that department, but I wasn't about to go anywhere else with her, so I let her carry on in the hopes that fantasizing about my girlfriend (who does that?) might get me my 60 pesos worth. As I kept on cycling through and recycling fantasies, she got worse -- sure, she was getting tired of it, as one might expect.
But the worst mistake I made was laying down on the bed. Never had I felt anything that disgusting before -- as if the chicas had been giving BBBJs all day and spitting it out on the sheets. I mean, it was moist in parts. Really, really disconcerting to say the least. I was afraid to move a millimeter out of fear of getting even more on me of whatever I was stewing in.
I told her to stop, made some excuse about being overworked and not getting enough sleep, hence my inability to finish. That turned out to be another mistake because as sweet as she is, she cuddled up to me and started talking to me, her fecal breath making me wish I had never heard about privados in the first place.
I paid for an hour and but left after 25 minutes, thoroughly disgusted. I practically ran home, went straight for the shower, and scalded my skin in hot water for around 10 minutes, hoping to wash away whatever pestilence I had picked up from that bed. I must have gone through half a bottle of shower gel, and now I'm tempted to burn the clothes I was wearing instead of washing them.
If I get sarna or the like from this, I'm never going to ever have sex again. I had never been put off like that before in my life. Time for me to go to the seminary -- much preferable to the semenary to which I was exposed just an hour ago.
Now I think I'll just drink myself to sleep and consider it a cheap lesson learned.
Did this place close, or what?
I live 2 blocks away from this place and have noticed that for the past week or two that the door has been closed -- it used to always be open. Furthermore their website is down. Not that I am a big fan of the place, as one could gather from my last report about it, but the option of a cheap bbbj at 9 am (when the sheets are probably not that disgusting) within 3 minutes walking distance of my apartment was quite appealing. Has anyone been here lately, or does anyone know what's up with the closed door? I suppose I could just ring the bell, but my Spanish is so poor, that I can only imagine what kinds of misunderstandings there would be if someone actually answered.
Did they get busted? Now I'm beginning to feel bad about writing such a negative review of the place.
