When you are having a bad day and think that you are having problems, just remember:
Somewhere in this world, there is a Mr. Pelosi.
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When you are having a bad day and think that you are having problems, just remember:
Somewhere in this world, there is a Mr. Pelosi.
A young teen couple – both fifteen - were hanging out on the boy's farm house porch drinking cokes sneaking a smoke and flirting.
As they were looking out at the pasture in front of the house, suddenly one of the bulls rambled over and mounted a comely heifer and had his way.
The young boy said: "You now it might be fun to try that!"
The young girl responded: "What's stopping you, she's your cow?"
Amen Sid.
Life is a series of getting knocked down, kicked, and stepped on, this happens to everybody. Unfortunately the kid in Chicago got the ghetto treatment.
My observation of liberals:
·Their essentially weak, lazy people both mind and will.
·They're looking for a hand out not a hand up.
·Their happiest when most everyone is like them, miserable and depressed.
·Their view of the world is a higher power (government, or god forbid a GOD) will make things better. Oh yea, I have little belief in either now a day.
·They truly want to be 'kept' people, so they can hide in plane view where no one has anything to speak of.
Summary:
We all have choices in life regardless of your socio economic background. It's true when someone says, "it's not where you come from but where you're going in life". Liberals are busy looking in the review mirror missing life's opportunities. The pisser is, if you took the mirror away they'd ***** their rights are being violated.
Logical thinking is difficult for some people
A mother drops her cute little pre-teen daughter at the barbershop for a haircut, while she runs next door for a cafe latte at Starbucks.
The kid climbs up on the barber chair. The barber puts the sheet over her shoulders and starts to trim her hair. She sits quietly and eats a big oatmeal cookie her mother left for her.
At one point the barber apologizes "Honey, I see you have hair on your cookie!"
The kid looks up and bats her adorable baby blues. She smiles shyly and says: "I know and I am only 9 and a half."
Should we assume the prior two comments are self-admissions from the posters that they can't read thread titles! Otherwise they are humor deprived and need to adjust their meds!
25 REASONS I OWE MY MOTHER.
1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE.
'If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning.'
2. My mother taught me RELIGION.
'You better pray that will come out of the carpet.'
3. My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL.
'If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!'
4. My mother taught me LOGIC.
'Because I said so, that's why.'
5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC.
'If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the store with me.'
6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT.
'Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident.'
7. My mother taught me IRONY.
'Keep crying, and I'll give you something to cry about.'
8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS.
'Shut your mouth and eat your supper.'
9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM.
'Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck!'
10. My mother taught me about STAMINA.
'You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone.'
11. My mother taught me about WEATHER.
'This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it.'
12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY.
'If I told you once, I've told you a million times. Don't exaggerate!'
13 My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE.
'I brought you into this world, and I can take you out.'
14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION.
'Stop acting like your father!'
15. My mother taught me about ENVY.
'There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't have wonderful parents like you do.'
16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION.
'Just wait until we get home.'
17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING.
'You are going to get it when you get home!'
18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE.
'If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to freeze that way.'
19. My mother taught me ESP.
'Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?'
20. My mother taught me HUMOR.
'When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me.'
21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT.
'If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up.'
22. My mother taught me GENETICS.
'You're just like your father.'
23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS.
'Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?'
24. My mother taught me WISDOM.
'When you get to be my age, you'll understand.'
25. And my favorite:
My mother taught me about JUSTICE.
'One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you!'
Two old guys, one 80 and one 87, were sitting on their usual park bench one morning.
The 87 year old had just finished his morning jog and wasn't even short of breath.
The 80 year old was amazed at his friend's stamina and asked him what he did to have so much energy.
The 87 year old said, "Well, I eat Italian bread every day. It keeps your energy level high and you'll have great stamina with the ladies."
So, on the way home, 80 year old stops at the bakery. As he was looking around, the lady asked if he needed any help. He said "Do you have any Italian bread?"
She said, "Yes, there's a whole shelf of it. Would you like some?"
He said, "I want 5 loaves."
She said, "My goodness, 5 loaves. By the time you get to the 5th loaf, it'll be hard."
He replied, "I can't believe it, everybody knows about this but me."
No COLA for Seniors in 2010
www.eldercarecafe.net/no-cola-for-seniors-in-2010.html
[QUOTE=Esten]No COLA for Seniors in 2010
[url]www.eldercarecafe.net/no-cola-for-seniors-in-2010.html[/url][/QUOTE]HAHA.
I saw the same thing in my google news updates and I swear I was gonna post that.
The title is very misleading.
At first I was like:(
But then I after I read it I was like:)