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No Cola, but, fortunately I will be spending my next stimulus on a 100 dollar massage, with happy ending.
Sorry, Exon I know you can not get those in your State. But, you can in NV.
[QUOTE=Esten]No COLA for Seniors in 2010
[url]www.eldercarecafe.net/no-cola-for-seniors-in-2010.html[/url][/QUOTE]
So this isn't really a joke or a one liner, but it sort of fits here. I was exchanging emails with a Brazilian girl, whose English is not the best, that I really want to seriously have my way with. I asked her what her favorite country was (Italy) and then in the following I asked her her least favorite country. This is what she wrote:
I dunno. I'm really boring to eat. Maybe one country with strange food, haha!:)
I really have no idea how to respond. My first instinct was to say something like "Oh honey, I'd never get bored eating you." But there has to be something better.
[QUOTE=Sinistra]I really have no idea how to respond. My first instinct was to say something like "Oh honey, I'd never get bored eating you." But there has to be something better.[/QUOTE]Well, if you want to change subject just tell her: "Mmmm, interesting". Or maybe something like: "Oh I see". It's neutral, you don't express an opinion, she won't feel offended and the answer lets you go through and change subject.
My 2 cents.
W
Sydney,
I heard this one about 3-4 yrs ago on a forum that I doubt you'd ever read (full of liberals). Substitute the queen of ideas such as "Invade their countries, kill their leaders and convert them to Christianity" for Pelosi, and its the same joke. Definitely a good one.
A Muslim dies and finds himself before the Pearly Gates.
He is very excited as all his life he has longed to meet the Prophet Mohammad.
Having arrived at the Gates of Heaven, he meets a man with a beard.
"Are you Mohammad?" he asks.
"No, my son, I am Peter. Mohammad is higher up," and he points to a ladder that rises into the clouds.
Delighted that Mohammad should be higher than Peter, he climbs the ladder in great strides, climbs through the clouds coming to a room where he meets another bearded man.
He asks again, "Are you Mohammad?"
"No, I am Moses. Mohammad is higher still."
Exhausted, but with a heart full of joy, he continues to climb the ladder and, yet again, he discovers an even larger room where he meets another man with a beard.
Full of hope, he asks again, "Are you Mohammad?"
'No, I am Jesus. You will find Mohammad higher up."
Mohammad higher than Jesus! The poor man can hardly contain his delight and climbs and climbs, ever higher. Once again, he reaches a larger room where he meets a man with a beard and repeats his question:
"Are you Mohammad?" he gasps, as he is by now, totally out of breath from all his climbing.
"No, my son. I am God. But you look exhausted. Would you like a coffee?"
"Yes, please, my Lord"
God looks behind him, claps his hands, and calls out.
"Hey, Mohammad, two coffees!"
[QUOTE=Sidney]Dear Mr. President:
Please find below my suggestion for fixing America �s economy.
Instead of giving billions of dollars to companies that will squander the money on lavish parties and unearned bonuses, use the following plan.
You can call it the Patriotic Retirement Plan:
There are about 40 million people over 50 in the work force.
Pay them $1 million apiece severance for early retirement with the following.
Stipulations:
1) They MUST retire. Forty million job openings -
Unemployment fixed.
2) They MUST buy a new American car. Forty million cars ordered-
Auto Industry fixed.
3) They MUST either buy a house or pay off their mortgage-
Housing Crisis fixed.
It can't get any easier than that!
If more money is needed, have all members of Congress.
And their constituents pay their taxes.
If you think this would work, please forward to everyone you know.
If not, please disregard. Then shoot yourself!
1 job opening.
____________________________________________________________
Medical Insurance Quotes.
Comp[/QUOTE]Good grief Sid, do the math.
$40,000,000 x 1,000,000 = 40,000,000,000,000
That plan would cost 40 TRILLION dollars.
Thanks,
Jackson
Jackson is right. The real problem is that any and all of these fixes are basically a zero sum game.