Laws of ChicaLand - con't.
To continue.....
6) Once you have had sex with her, or even thought about having sex with her, you may not have sex with any other chica EVER without incurring her wrath (and therefore owing her a "forgiveness fee")
If you go to a club where she is working and discover she is with someone else, you are expected to wait your turn quietly, without making either a fuss or glancing at any other chica until she is available (which may not be for hours, or even several days - no importa!)
7) The value of her services is determined by the most she was ever paid by anyone for anything for any amount of time, plus a cost-of-living increase.
Of course, The exception to this is if she knows, or knows of, or has heard of (see rule 2), a friend who once was paid more then that, in which case her value is that figure plus the percentage increase because her friend is just a puta and not worth as much as she is!
The cost of her taxi is likewise determined by the most she has ever paid a taxi in her life.
8) Time translations: There is temporal vortex in ChicaLand, which re-defines our traditional concepts of time calculation:
[u]1 hour[/u]
a) As a measure of when she has to do something (i.e. arrive at your apt.) 1 hour means sometime today.
b) As a measure of time-on-the-job, it means until either you come or she gets tired (or bored.)
[u]2 hours[/u]
a) As a measure of when she has to do something (i.e. arrive at your apt.) 2 hours means sometime much later today.
b) As a measure of time-on-the-job, 2 hours means basically the same as 1 hour except you owe her more money
Right Away = Sometime in the next few hours
This afternoon = Before midnight
Tonight = Before dawn
All night (TLN) = Just after the sun rises in some part of the world
And of course...
Tomorrow = ?????
The concept of tomorrow DOES NOT EXIST in Chicaland - The closest concept that does exist may be loosely translated to mean "someday before the end of the world".
To be continued.......
Laws of ChicaLand - con't. part 2
The language spoken by ChicaLanders needs to be understood by those of us who wish to deal with the denizens of CL without disrupting the Force, so...
9. Many words, and even the concept of those words, either don't exist or have very different meanings to CL residents (and therefor visitors!)
i.e.,
[b]Logic[/b]:
This concept does not seem to exist, and has been replaced by a new system of reason I refer to as "Flexi-Think", which has the advantage of leaving almost the entire left-brain area available for storage of erroneous facts.
[b]Consequences[/b]:
Since this concept frequently requires the existance of "tomorrow" (see rule 8), it exists, at best, only in theory for CL residents. For non-residents it usually has a much more immediate meaning and therefore does apply.
[b]Birthdays[/b]:
ChicaLanders may declare a "birthday tomorrow" at any time, without incurring an age penalty. This is allowed because of the CL definition of Tomorrow (see rule 8).
Non-residents ignoring these birthdays run the risk of having to pay a "forgiveness fee" to normalize relations.
(NOTE - this fee may sometimes be payed in negotiable commodities other then cash)
[b]Boyfriend ("Novio")[/b]:
This title may be applied to any non-resident that a resident has had sex with more then once. In this usage however, it is an honorary title only, but does allow you the priveledge of giving her gifts, as well as more money for less sex (see rule 4)
It should be noted that "real" (i.e. resident) ChicaLand novios are NEVER seen in public, as they are back home (traditionally drinking and watching TV) waiting for her to come home and give him all the money she made today before attempting (frequently succesfully) to impregnate her.
That ends todays.
Once again, anyone discovering a new ChicaLand definition is encouraged to share.
David
Another Law Of Chica Land
You will not be caught Fucking Someone Else.
What this means is if you have a favorita Chica in anyone one Club or Cafe to maintain the relationship you will not be caught pulling another Chica out the establishment, even if she's not their. The Latain Chica Network will immedately "Snich" you off by cell phone or other and it will cost you money and "Brain Damage" to repair the "Miss-Deed".
Now its perfectly alright for her to Fuck anything in sight for thats just business, but don't you get caught doing it. You are her mini cash register so to speak and she doesn't want you wasting sperm on her competition. She wants you horny so when she needs money you'll get a phone call to see if the ATM is open.
Moreover, if your seen pulling another Chica from her place of business the Chica will immedately lose "face or status" with her contemporary's. You see she's been Lieing to her peers. She's told them your paying $300 peso's when your really paying something like $150 peso's. She's told them you have a small dick and you cum in 30 seconds when in fact your hung like Jackson and half the time you can't "Finish" because you've been Fucking Everything in Sight.
One must remmember that after about 3 sessions with thease girls you become her personal property.
Exon
The Value of the Indefinite Future
Another very important law of Chicaland is:
Your value to her is based totally on what you MIGHT do for her next.
Forget gratitude. Forget loyalty, friendship, fairness. These relationships at times apply briefly to other women, NEVER to MEN. Women, like cats, are among the most self indulgent creatures in the world. She is only interested in what is good for her, and men exist solely to be exploited. Even with her children, if you study her closely, you will discover she acts always in her own interest, even when at first it may appear she is acting unselfishly for her children (which is why they so readily have children they cannot support).
This is why TIPPING is such a bad idea. It is part of the expected payment, and now only establishes a new base price. She will not be appreciative or grateful. She will only be expectant that you will give her the same and more next time. The most effective tactic for gifts is to give her randomly spaced gifts (NEVER the 1st or 2nd time). You can say anything you like as justification for the gift. The important thing is to stress the randomness. Use dice, cards, the daily number or whatever to achieve it. Try to keep a significant part of your payment to her this random gift. This is the only way it can be easily withheld and therefore retain its value (this is THEIR favorite use of sex in committed relationships).
Therefore, NEVER COMMIT TO ANYTHING IN ADVANCE. Anything you are committed to is in the past, and therefore no longer counts, even if the thing hasn't happened yet. Like tickets to something: show, voyage. Once you buy the tickets and can't back out, their value drops close to zero. Likewise marriage, engagement. And, of course, this is why you can NEVER PAY IN ADVANCE.
ALWAYS DEAL IN INDEFINITE FUTURES: "If you are nice to me, I MIGHT see you again and pay you again. But I really also want to do something else instead, like go to Spain, so I will have to think hard." This is her favorite tactic against you, and it is equally effective against her. BUT YOU MUST MEAN IT, BECAUSE SHE DOES.
I appreciate the above can be difficult to do at times. But, like freedom, it requires and deserves eternal vigilance and effort. And yes, I am still working on it.
Question on Types of Places
All you learned BsAs mongers.
I have studiously perused the forum in anticipation of my upcoming first trip in November. I am trying to follow the RTTF rule and avoid asking questions that are already clearly explained. There is so much good info that this is pretty easy. However, there is one thing I cannot find.
Can someone clearly define and explain the mongering approach in apartments vs. Clubs vs. Boliches? Also what is a boliche? The definition I keep getting comes up under bowling. I am not interested in bowling on my trip.
I think the private apartments are much like the Privee in Amsterdam, basically whorehouses with incall. But the club / boliche scene has a lot of variances.
If this definition exists somewhere on the board then a huge mea culpa and I am prepared for the appropriate flaming.
Thanks.
Traveller
where are the other web-sites?
I was trying to enter his forum for international, and it said something about a federal lawsuit, and he moved the sites, but would not say where. Anyone know where they are?
It would also be nice if Jackson could list each site with a link at the top so we could find them more easily.