The Rules of Mongering in Buenos Aires
Long ago in on this forum there was a post laying out the rules of Mongering. Stranger and myself today while sitting in Orleans decided we should post some of these rules from our own experiences to help others out.
If you would like to add one of your own please do.
If your chica says she will be at your place at 1800, that really means when she will call you if your lucky to tell you she is late. Or it's the time she will leave her house for an hour train ride to you.
Never pay the chica first. If she asks to see the money this is acceptable but only if it is placed in a neutral location until you are done.
Never pay a chica in dollars, unless the chica will give you the parallel market rate.
Taking a semi loca chica to a telo on the first time is probably not a bad idea.
Chicas are the best avenue to find Lechuga.
If the chica is below a 4 on a good day stop, don't do it. It does get better.
If she is Dominican and has a hot body she will probably be a bad fuck.
If she is an average Paraguayan she will probably be a good fuck.
The amount you will pay is the amount of Spanish you speak times your good looks divided by how much the chica likes you.
If the chica is in a club and she does not look happy to be with you, she will not be more happy with your dick in her mouth.
Not all dancers in clubs go out.
Before you buy a chica a drink negotiate everything such as price, BBBJ, etc. If you do not it will not happen or you will pay more. No matter how much buena onda you think you have.
There are no refunds in Buenos Aires.
More to come.
This chica is in my shower now
I told her that because she makes 300 euros in spain does not mean she makes 1000 pesos here. It went back to the 500 pesos I have been paying for years.
Another good line in response to such nonsense!
[QUOTE=Gato Hunter;422461]I told her that because she makes 300 euros in spain does not mean she makes 1000 pesos here. It went back to the 500 pesos I have been paying for years.[/QUOTE]I was in spain last year. No puta makes that kind of money anymore. The world has changed. The same puta that made 300 euros years ago will go happily for 100 today.
Regarding your list.
If a chica that has proved herself as a killer girl, and suggests she bring her friend. The answer is ALWAYS YES! Birds of a feather fly together (most always, YMMV). This is how you build a killer stable over time.
Happy Mongering All. Toymann
A choice you have to make
You know it's a hard night in in buenos aires when the looser between you and your wingman gets the threesome.
13 rules for boliche addicts
I'm in the minor league compared to most of you guys, but anyone new to the bar / boliche scene might find this useful. I've broken pretty much all of these rules at some time or another and usually lived to regret it! Nothing new or original here – you will find most of these scattered around elsewhere on AP.
1. Patience is the name of the game. Don't fall for the first chica who comes & grabs you. Chances are she's the one that nobody else would pick. Take time to look around, keep moving and watch the girls when they are not watching you. Avoid the moody and miserable looking ones. Look for the body language and home in on the chicas who look lively and confident. A girl who smiles and gets on well with the other chicas and waiters is a sound bet.
2. Be wise to the chica grapevine (#1). Once your face is known at a bar or club, you can be sure that the girls you've been with are comparing notes on how well or badly you treated them. Treat them well and new ones will be keen to meet up with you. Treat them badly and you risk getting blanked.
3. Be wise to the chica grapevine (#2). Decide a realistic baseline price for a particular venue, and try to stick to it. Word soon gets round if you are negotiating a different price with each new girl. You will end up with all of them insisting on the highest figure.
4. Sign up some allies. It helps to get the bar staff, waiters and doormen on side, if you're planning to visit regularly. At minimum you should get better service and at best you'll get waved through or get answers if you need some information about a girl. Enlist a wingman if you haven't been to a club before and aren't sure of its reputation.
5. Big head must rule the little head. However good she looks, if there's no spark or chemistry between you after you've been chatting for 5 minutes, forget it. Things will only go downhill from there. When you find one that's sending out the right signals, and you commit to the chica drink, use the time in the club like foreplay. By the time you both leave, she should have a very strong idea of what you like and what you find exciting about her. And you should be starting to feel excited and building on the chemistry that made you pick her in the first place.
6. Beware of distress purchases. If you don't see what you like, move on to another place. If it's the end of the night, save some money and sperm and come back next day. Beer goggles can wear off when you get down to the real business. Nothing worse than spending a lot of cash, then half way through the act, realising that you don't really fancy the chica after all.
7. The standing up rule. Unless you're not fussed about height and body shape, don't commit to a chica you've only seen sitting on a barstool. When she gets up, you may get quite a surprise. Also, unless you like shy girls and subdued lighting, look for a chica who's confident about her body and happy with showing it off.
8. Care with threesomes. These work best if you genuinely can't decide which of the two chicas you'd most like to fuck. Otherwise you'll end up concentrating on just one of them and waste your money. Best tactic is to get a chica you know to point out a few of her friends who might be up for it. Picking two that don't know or don't much like each other can be a bad recipe however hot they look.
9. The 'test drive' rule. Unless you're very sure or she's been recommended, it's wise to test drive any brand new chica at the telo (love motel). Stroppy girls in your apartment or hotel room are bad news. The BA telos are good places, unlike some of the shitholes you get in Europe.
10. Repeats can be more fun. For us mongers the first time can be the most exciting, but many chicas only start to warm up second third or fourth time round. Don't write off a chica who shows promise but didn't quite deliver first time out. Get her number and arrange to meet her away from the club.
11. Prepare ahead of time. If you are planning to bring a new girl back to your apartment or room, do the prep work before you set off. Valuables in the safe. If in doubt, don't leave it out. Stock up beforehand but don't leave the key to the minibar on show. When you both arrive and you head for the bathroom, don't leave your wallet in the pocket of the jeans you've just thrown off by the bed.
12. Be a gentleman. Try to please, in and out of the sack. It may not cut any ice with harder edged American or Northern European girls, but BA chicas appreciate a 'caballero' with a gentler touch. Walk the girl back to the club or her car when you leave the telo. Give a taxi tip, unless she really failed to perform. If it's late at night when she leaves your apartment, walk with her to a cab and hand her the tip when she gets in.
13. Learn some Spanish. Not having any is like going into a fight with your hands tied, at least in the boliche scene.
Most of all though, enjoy this great city and the beautiful women who live here.
Why do you always feel smarter after a few beers?
Cliff: Well ya see, Norm, it's like this. A herd of buffalo can only move as fast as the slowest buffalo. And when the herd is hunted, it is the slowest and weakest ones at the back that are killed first. This natural selection is good for the herd as a whole, because the general speed and health of the whole group keeps improving by the regular killing of the weakest members. In much the same way, the human brain can only operate as fast as the slowest brain cells. Excessive intake of alcohol, as we know, kills brain cells. But naturally, it attacks the slowest and weakest brain cells first. In this way, regular consumption of beer eliminates the weaker brain cells, making the brain a faster and more efficient machine. That's why you always feel smarter after a few beers.
("Cheers")
If you know you are drunk and might be an asshole, do not go with a new chica
Chose a chica that know your good sides, tell her you are drunk and that you might be an asshole later.
When a girl that fuck for a living are making to much noise and you think she is overdoing the faking, don't tell her if you are drunk and might be an asshole, she might actually be enjoying whatever you are doing and get very upset and leave and you can never see her again.
Unless this is a chica that know your good sides and you already told her earlier the night that you might be an asshole later.
Stranger
More food 24/7 in Recoleta
La Madeleine is located on Santa Fe between Rodriguez Pena and Callao and is indeed open 24 hours AND delivers 24 hours (except Monday's when it closed at 01:00). The phone number is 4813 8400. In addition, there is another place called Santa Fe 1234, located at you guessed it, Sante Fe 1234 (between Libertad and Talcahuano) which is in fact open 24 hours / 7 days per week and has the same exact menu and same owners as La Madeleine. The phone number is 4811 2356. There is a McDonald's on Santa Fe between Riobamba and Ayacucho that is open 24 hours on the weekends, as is the McDonald's located at the Recoleta Mall.