First Annual Monger Draft - Scouting Report

John Daly, 5' 9", 423 lbs. Hometown: BFE, Arkansas.

A standout golfer with serious detachment issues. Daly, who gained fame as a golfer, has the vices necessary to become a great monger.

With a complete disregard for any responsibility that comes with the uptight world of Golf, Daly epitomizes all of the traits for a successful monger.

Strengths: Limited self control, significant cash flow in spite of his behavior, admired by rednecks who switch between NASCAR and Golf, excessive drinking, smokes Marlboro Reds and has a propensity for women who like to screw without judging.

Weaknesses: Bad heart.

I feel Mr. Daly is a sure fire first round performer in the proposed First Annual AP Monger Draft.

A further report follows: (Make sure you click the link and watch the YouTube video; It's great)

"According to an eyewitness, Mr Daly had 32 double shots of crown royal and proceeded to curse Tiger Woods while teeing up in the parking lot and hitting bombs towards Firebirds / unused new development closer to the movie theatre. He was on tour with country singer Montgomery Gentry."

[url]http://www.golf.com/golf/tours_news/article/0,28136,1854824,00.html[/url]

[QUOTE=QuakHunter]John Daly, 5' 9", 423 lbs. Hometown: BFE, Arkansas.

A standout golfer with serious detachment issues. Daly, who gained fame as a golfer, has the vices necessary to become a great monger.

With a complete disregard for any responsibility that comes with the uptight world of Golf, Daly epitomizes all of the traits for a successful monger.

Strengths: Limited self control, significant cash flow in spite of his behavior, admired by rednecks who switch between NASCAR and Golf, excessive drinking, smokes Marlboro Reds and has a propensity for women who like to screw without judging.

Weaknesses: Bad heart.

I feel Mr. Daly is a sure fire first round performer in the proposed First Annual AP Monger Draft.

A further report follows: (Make sure you click the link and watch the YouTube video; It's great)

"According to an eyewitness, Mr Daly had 32 double shots of crown royal and proceeded to curse Tiger Woods while teeing up in the parking lot and hitting bombs towards Firebirds / unused new development closer to the movie theatre. He was on tour with country singer Montgomery Gentry."

[url]http://www.golf.com/golf/tours_news/article/0,28136,1854824,00.html[/url][/QUOTE]QH-Nice category, but the first admission must go, posthumously, to the legendary dipsomaniac and without peer madman, Oliver Reed.

[QUOTE=Doggboy]QH-Nice category, but the first admission must go, posthumously, to the legendary dipsomaniac and without peer madman, Oliver Reed.[/QUOTE]Dogg,

I'm not sure who Oliver Reed is, but after reading some of your posts over the years I assume he is well qualified.

Another qualified prospect, William Jefferson Clinton, would probably bypass the five year waiting period and go directly to the hall of fame.

Who else?

Maybe Richard Gere's Gerbil?

One more pic of the one and only lunatic for the ages. Long live ye Oliver!

[QUOTE=Doggboy]One more pic of the one and only lunatic for the ages. Long live ye Oliver![/QUOTE]He's in. Maybe the World Monger Cup trophy should be named after this guy.

[QUOTE=QuakHunter]Dogg,

I'm not sure who Oliver Reed is, but after reading some of your posts over the years I assume he is well qualified.

Another qualified prospect, William Jefferson Clinton, would probably bypass the five year waiting period and go directly to the hall of fame.

Who else?

Maybe Richard Gere's Gerbil?[/QUOTE]Indeedy, Reed is at the top of the heap. His life story makes great reading. He once threw up on Steve McQueen.

[QUOTE=Doggboy]Indeedy, Reed is at the top of the heap. His life story makes great reading. He once threw up on Steve McQueen.[/QUOTE]He's the Dude that sold Russell Crowe in Gladiator. Good call.

I know this is a forum on Pussy. This is the last homage to Oliver Reed, but what a great story.

"Reed was famous for his excessive drinking, which fit in with the "social" attitude of many rugby teams in the 1960s and 1970s, and there are numerous anecdotes such as Reed and 36 friends drinking, in an evening, 60 gallons of beer, 32 bottles of Scotch, 17 bottles of gin, four crates of wine and one bottle of Babycham. He subsequently revised the story, claiming he drank 106 pints of beer on a 2-day binge before marrying Josephine; "The event that was reported actually took place during an arm-wrestling competition in Guernsey about 15 years ago, it was highly exaggerated." Steve McQueen told the story that in 1973 he had flown to the UK to discuss a film project with Reed and suggested the pair go to a nightclub in London. This led to a marathon pub crawl during which Reed threw up on McQueen. Reed's face had been carved up ten years previously during a 1963 bar fight after which he received 63 stitches and was in danger of having his film career cut short in his '20s."

"He was forced to leave the set of the Channel 4 television discussion programme After Dark after arriving drunk and attempting to kiss feminist writer Kate Millett, uttering the memorable phrase "give us a kiss, big tits"

"Reed died of a sudden heart attack during a break from filming Gladiator in Valletta, Malta on 2 May 1999. He was 61 years old and was reported to be heavily intoxicated at the time of his death. Racking up an $866 alcohol bill, Reed had reportedly drunk three bottles of Captain Morgan's rum, eight bottles of beer and numerous doubles of Famous Grouse whisky. He also beat five much younger Royal Navy sailors at arm wrestling at a bar called "The Pub." (The owners have since added "Ollie's Last Pub" to the sign."

A legend. Thanks Doggboy.

Glad to help out QH. Reed was also a terror on late night talk shows back in the day.

Another pick would be John "Riggo" Riggins. A many an escapade he did have. My favorite Riggo story:

Riggo was on the sidelines reporting on a football game. After the game was over and a player had admitted getting an injection so that he could play, Sonny Jurgenson (another candidate) asked Riggo if had ever been "shot up" before a game. Riggo replied, "Nah Sonny, I used to get shot up AFTER the game." Good 'ol Riggo.

[url]http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=EZMXIxIQmPw&feature=related[/url]

Oliver Reed a truly great Yorkshireman.

PS Thats not just Orange juice!

[QUOTE=Flexible Horn][url]http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=EZMXIxIQmPw&feature=related[/url]

Oliver Reed a truly great Yorkshireman.

PS Thats not just Orange juice![/QUOTE]Absolute classic. Now I know who little wankers like Colin Farrell are imitating. Hilarious!

[QUOTE=Sidney]Met him in in the Beatle Bar, Jaco Beach, Costa Rica 4 years ago.[/QUOTE]Now that you mention it, Ed Podolak, Running back from the University of Iowa and the Kansas City Chiefs owns a bar somewhere near or right outside of Jaco.

Heard great stories about Ed. Siragusa would be hard to miss; no body outside of Iowa and Missouri has heard of Ed Podolak. A lot to be said for flying under the radar.

[QUOTE=QuakHunter]Now that you mention it, Ed Podolak, Running back from the University of Iowa and the Kansas City Chiefs owns a bar somewhere near or right outside of Jaco.

Heard great stories about Ed. Siragusa would be hard to miss; no body outside of Iowa and Missouri has heard of Ed Podolak. A lot to be said for flying under the radar.[/QUOTE]Hey now, I remember Ed Podolak. Chiefs HB. Lenny Dawson era?

[QUOTE=Doggboy]Hey now, I remember Ed Podolak. Chiefs HB. Lenny Dawson era?[/QUOTE]Actually the first time I saw him was about ten years ago at a club called the Green Door in San Jose, Costa Rica.

And it wasn't a book club. Heard wild things about his place in CR. Not sure if it is still open.

[QUOTE=Sidney]Wasn't he also very good in the Decathlon?[/QUOTE]I remember Bruce Jenner from the Olympics.

I also remember Greg Louganis.

Did you hear they stripped Greg Louganis of his Gold Medals?

They found traces of Ben Johnson in him.

Alex Hawkins, who, rightly or wrongly, was given credit for coming up with the phrase, "That's my story and I'm sticking to it." Baltimore Colts special teams standout and nightowl.

Duane Thomas. Cowboy running back and bitter fucker. Coined "Plastic Man" to describe Tom Landry. Before a Super Bowl was asked by an interviewer why he wasn't more excited. His response-"If it's so fucking super how come they have it every year?"

Dock Ellis. Pitched a no hitter for Pittsburgh while tripping on LSD. Possibly the greatest feat in the history of sport!

Also, told teammates before a game with Cinncinnati that he was going to hit every Cinncinnati batter. Was pulled from the game after conking 3 in a row in the first inning by manager Danny Murtaugh. Ha ha.

Sid,

Great memory of the Gold Club; got clipped for $2,300.00 by them during the period the Feds were doing their investigation in 2000. I would have paid $23,000.00 for that night. Living in SP does that to you.

Anyway, remember Max McGee's performance in the early NFL Championships catching TD passes from Bart Starr drunk? I was only eight or so, but after that I said fuck milk, Budweiser is great on Wheaties.

I met Marcus with a young bleached blonde and OJ at the local Fatburger. OJ said to the Blonde, "Now that you are going to ride with Marcus in his Ferrari, I don't want you to get a big head." I suspect she did not follow OJ's advice and got the big head maybe even twice.

The sports stars are easy to pick out.

Broadway Joe Namath.

Dan Pastorini.

Etc, etc. Old school athlete-mongers.

However, CHARLIE SHEEN has got to be the cover-boy!

What was it, $50,000.00 dollars paid to Hiedi for 50 call girls.

$1000.00 dollars a night.

Always paid by check!

Coined one of my favorites and what should be OUR motto:

¨ I don't pay them to have sex with me, I pay them to leave afterwards.¨

Ex-Governor of N. Y. Dumbass of the year award.

Micheal Vick. Dumbass of the Century award!

Right behind Adolph Hitler for fighting a 2 front war! (on the same continent!)

Not like our man BUSH.

Have Fun,

TL

I always love the Joe on Monday night football, drunk as a skunk hitting on the reporter.

It was almost as classic as howard cosell.

Diego Maradona is also a rockstar in my book. That guy has some stories to tell.

Granted he falls into the Kieth Richards catagory.

Cheers!

Bob Denver. Huge pothead but got to do Mary Ann in real life. That deserves special consideration; I went through puberty wishing I was a Castaway. Crazy Mofo.

The picture is from the set of Gilligan's Island. This was the one where they could have left the Island, but Gilligan didn't want to.

[QUOTE=QuakHunter]Bob Denver. Huge pothead but got to do Mary Ann in real life. That deserves special consideration; I went through puberty wishing I was a Castaway. Crazy Mofo.

The picture is from the set of Gilligan's Island. This was the one where they could have left the Island, but Gilligan didn't want to.[/QUOTE]Now that's funny. Good for Gilligan, I didn't know he nailed Mary Ann. Man, he looks like a pothead, right?

Lol,

That made me laugh.

But isn't that Ginger?

Regards,

BM.

PS. I too grew up wishing I was on that island alone with those two chicks. MmMmm.

The hair looks like Ginger to me.

I don’t know about the rest of you, but if I had a chose one of them, I would pick Mary Ann over Ginger.

[QUOTE=Tessan]The hair looks like Ginger to me.[/QUOTE]Yes, that is Ginger pulling Gilligan's pud. QH said that Gilligan screwed Mary Ann in real life. A tasty little morsel she.

Sweet little Mary Ann was busted for weed too!

They must have been smoking all day long on that little island.

Actually filmed in Hollywood though!

Looks as though she knows how to give a "Hand Job"

I love a good hand job.

Exon

In High School I wanted to make love to Mary Ann. As I got older I wanted to nail the shit out of Ginger.

After eight months in Sex Prison I'd settle on fucking Mrs. Howell.

[QUOTE=Tessan]The hair looks like Ginger to me.

I don't know about the rest of you, but if I had a chose one of them, I would pick Mary Ann over Ginger.[/QUOTE]

Mark Sanford.

John Edwards.

John Ensign.

Let the voting and nominations begin.

I hereby immediately nominate Eldrick "Tiger" Woods for admission into the next class of Mongers and waive any waiting period.

As of this writing the list is up to ten women. After eight more he will officially be in the Nineteenth Hoe.

Go ahead, Be a Tiger!