Fear and Loathing in Buenos Aires June 2010
Trip Report: May 27th to June 4th, 2010 - Fear and Loathing in Buenos Aires - LONG.
Just for a point of reference, I have visited Brazil about eight times from 1999 – 2005 but have been shacked up from 2005 to late 2009. I have visited Thailand twice (Bangkok / Phuket) both in the 1990's, and have taken too many trips to count in different ports of call in Mexico. But this is my first time to the Paris of South America and I was really looking forward to finally visiting.
My trip started off with the old proverb of waking up, stepping into shit while getting out of and than things not getting any better the next 72 hrs. First, my seasoned wingman begged off at the last moment. Next, I could not get out of Los Angeles Airport in time to catch my connecting flight to Buenos Aires from Atlanta. This was due to the fact I was flying on an Airline Buddy Pass and the airline had no available seats on the early flights. Very rare for a slow travel day on a Tuesday. So, I took a later flight out and was forced to spend the night and next day in Atlanta at a $55 per day fleabag Airport Hotel (at least they had free wireless) The next night I head to the airport to catch my 8:30 pm flight to Buenos Aires. The flight had tons of seats available but they have loaded too much cargo and I can't get on that flight due to weight issues. My alternative is to spend another night and day in Atlanta or catch a 10:00 PM flight going into Santiago and buy a ticket from there to BA in the morning. There were many seats in First Class available on the Santiago flight, which is where you are automatically seated when using the Pass, provided seats are available. So I thought what the hell and was off to Chile. Of course I thought a one way ticket for the 90 minute flight from Santiago to BA could not cost more than around $200. Wrong.
When I landed in Santiago I find that my luggage did not follow me from Atlanta to Santiago and that the cheapest flight I could find to BA on Aerolingus or Tam was $500. Shit! I finally track down an employee from my airline and am told they will notify the Baggage Dept. To send my luggage from Atlanta to BA. I have been wearing the same clothes for two days now and staring at a 3rd day by the time by luggage arrives. What a discouraging start to say the least.
Finally I arrive at the Regional BA Airport in the late afternoon and taxi over to my apartment. Well, at least my room is nice. It is in a nice modern High-Rise in the Palermo section of BA. The apartment has a great unobstructed view as it's on the 21st floor with all the electronics. I-Pod player, Flat Screen, Cable TV and Apple TV. It also has hard wire and wireless internet and free local phone, USA phone, local cell phone and a nice little gym on the top floor. High speed elevators, doorman, etc. $128 per day for the weekly rate.
First thing I did was shower, go out and grab a bite to eat and pick up a few supplies. Headed back to the apartment and throw back a couple of Absoluts which I purchased from the Duty Free Store. I head out to Madahos (Thurs. Night) and was amazed at the beauties I saw. I would put the assortment of the appx. 50-60 women I saw there on par with any of the girls one would see on a Saturday night at the hottest nightclubs in Hollywood. Despite my mediocre at best Spanish, I had fun speaking with a couple of the beauties. However, having had little to no sleep I was only window shopping tonight and after an hour or two, I headed back. The quotes I got were from a low of 600P to a high of 200 US. Entry fee here was 120P inclusive of one drink. The ladies drinks were 180P and I am not sure how much subsequent drinks cost for me (maybe the same 120P) Definitely, not a club for those that have difficulty reaching deep in to their pockets. However, to think you could spend a couple of hours with a star for $225 to $275 including his and hers drinks, it's not too bad by international norms.
Next day, after many calls to the airlines I am told my bag has made it's way to Eziza Airport and I grab a taxi in the early evening to go pick it up. Apparently the Soccer team was leaving that same evening for the World Cup and it took me over two friggin hours to get to EZE, as everyone was sending the team off. Finally I get my luggage (all items intact) and head back to Apartment. Armed with fresh clothes, shave kit, etc. I'm feeling a lot better and make my way out to finally evaluate the performance of the BA chicas.
Jumped in a cab intending to head back to Madahos and my taxi driver tells me to take a peek at Club Salome in Recoleta. I figured it can't hurt to look. I ask the doorman for a peek inside before paying the 100P entry. Bizarre, but the doorman was from Southern California, about 30 miles from where I live. The club was kind of dingy with a smattering of 15, so-so girls. As I make my way to the exit, I spot a pretty girl sitting at the bar by herself smiling at me. She has shoulder length blonde hair, early to mid twenties and was wearing a short skirt showing off a fine looking pair of legs. My exit is put on hold, as I investigate. She spoke some English, and with my Spanglish we communicated just fine. After a little small talk I am told she is all mine for 600 P with all the trimmings. She has no kids and said there would be no hurry to rush off. I actually did not even negotiate price as I wanted to get the stink of bad luck off of me quick. Her name was ROMINA.
Off we go to my apartment. I light some candles, put the mood music on my I-pod and pop the cork on a good Malbec. We are sitting on the balcony, sipping wine, chatting and admiring the view. Things are starting to look up. In my haste I make the rookie mistake of paying upfront when asked. However, after payment all continues going great. We start making out like newlyweds on the couch, leading into a great BBBJ. Finally I enter into her. Moist and tight. After about 5-10 minutes of joy, she realizes my micro-thin condom (don't ever buy Kimono Brand) had broken, and she proceeds to freak out. I try my best to calm her and explain I am 100% healthy and if anyone should be worried it is I. My arguments land on deaf ears. At this point I am wondering if she's acting, though but my gut tells me she's a little dramatica. Just great, as if I don't I get enough drama queens in L. A. Long story short, I am pissed the mood is ruined and I get her the hell of there. Ray Charles lyrics start ringing through my head, "If it wasn't for bad luck I wouldn't have any luck at all."
Next day things start turning a bit for the better. I visited L'Alliance Restaurant as it is a place owned by an ex-pat where some gringo's visit. I meet the owner, Ramiro, along with a couple of Americans, a couple of Argies and a funny as hell French guy (AKA the Hitman) Ramiro was going to walk me up the street to the Night Clubs, but a few of us proceed to polish off several bottles of Red and just Bullshit all night. All in all, I had a fun night, but wow, three days in Buenos Aires and have not gotten my first nut. Hard to fathom and downright shameful, but I feel a wind of change.
Next night, I had booked an appointment with Alejandra after reading her good AP reviews. I thought she would be just what the doctor ordered for me. I was in the mood for being with a woman instead of a child. She arrives and is just as advertised. Well groomed, intelligent, has a reasonably attractive face but her best feature is the great little body she possesses. After a little chatting she excuses herself, changes into some very sexy negligee and than it was straight to business. Just what I needed, a stellar session from a very cool lady who knows how to please her customer. 300 P + taxi, for appx. 90 minutes or so.
After Alejandra left, I was feeling muy contento, but I figured why not stop in to Cocodrillos for a look, as it is located nearby. I rolled in around 2 or 3. The place was nice on the outside and equally good on the inside as well. The first thing I noticed were two stunning young girls all oiled up and dancing on top the bar in bikinis. The place was crowded but you could move around easily enough. There was some really nice eye candy and I would describe the crowd as being fairly young overall. The girls were a couple of notches below those I saw at Madahos on Thursday. After two beers (50P each? And a couple of unsolicited offers which I recall were in or around the 300+P range I decided to leave. Though sorely tempted, my batteries are running low. I am thinking to myself was it only six years ago when I was in Sao Paulo and partied till the sun came up for five straight nights?
I jump in a cab to head home and this girl follows me into the taxi. What the F*#ck? She is a late 20's early 30's, brunette, wearing torn blue jeans, boots and a cropped belly top, a look I am quite fond of. She had huge fake tits and a flat stomach you could bounce quarters off of. She asks if I can give her a lift back to her apartment which was nearby. What a bold approach. I kind of liked the bravado and thought let's see where this leads. We arrive at her apartment building and she asks if I want to come up. Porque no? Small but clean apartment within a nice building. She offers me a 7Up and tells me she wants to buy something to wake her up. I give her 150P, she's out the door and back in 10 minutes. We decide to go to my apartment where we can be a bit more comfortable. Once there, she says she will stay all night and show me a good time for her rock bottom price of 400P. Thinking about it for one millisecond, I agree. A good decision, as she was totally uninhibited and a real screamer. I had to get her to bite a towel for fear of waking the neighbors. Good for the ego at least. Finally we passed out for a few hours and she wound up leaving around 11:00 the next morning. I promised to see her again before I left town, knowing full well there are too many fish in these seas for me to repeat with her. Wow, finally a good night. I was due for one. At least, my putrid batting average is moving up.
Next night I go back to L'Alliance and hit Catto's with Ramiro and a couple of other guys. I hook up with a mid twenties Bolivian chick. I can't recall her name, but I believe she has a sister who was also working there. We start making out in the club and she is making hot promesos of things to come later. Sold! Took her back to the apt. Shared a bottle of champagne, and had some good sweaty sex over the course of the night. The beer goggles were on a little bit that night, as the next morning on closer inspection she rated only a six in face / body but she rated a solid seven in performance not bad at all, it's just that with a little patience I am sure to have done better. Back at home it would have rated an excellent night. 450P for all night. Probably overpaid a bit again. I want to say drinks were 60P there for both men and women.
I took the next night off, stayed in and watched some movies. Needed to recharge for my last couple of nights. Still wanted to hit Club Black and pull a model type from either there or Madahos or maybe both.
The next night I again stopped at L'Alliance to grab a bite to eat and have a few drinks, thinking I will visit Black's afterwards. A little while later, in walks one little local girl (Veronica) who has a pleasant face and a decent looking rear end. She sat down and talked for a while. I would not call her a really pretty girl but she had a sexy nose piercing and an alluring smile that turned me on. Good but not good enough to make a Buyer out of me. I have my mind set on bigger fish. Than, just as I am getting ready to exit, in walks another, working girl (Natalia) She is dressed very casually with a ski jacket buttoned to the top, her hair up in a bun and zero make-up. While not trying to look sexy, she had this provoking, young girl next door look. I could see that with a little effort she could do wonders with her natural looks. I debated hard whether to go to Blacks and blow a 1,000P on a model or take this one for 25% of that. After hanging out with her a bit I really liked her vibe and Ramiro gave his stamp of approval. So, I decided to go with Natalia and that turned out to be my best decision of the trip. We wound up back at the apartment where she freshens up in the bathroom. Out she comes wrapped only in a towel. I was reminded of the Librarian who takes off the glasses and let's her hair down. What a difference. She did have numerous tattoos which are not my thing, but at least they were not overly loud. No booze for her but she loved her smoke. I spent several fun filled hours with her before she left early in the morning.
For my last night I actually wound up dismissing the idea of finding the model type from Blacks or Madahos and opted to go for Round 2 with the little ninfeta, Natalia. I felt I needed to end this trip on a good note after my rocky start and decided to go with the sure thing. I called her and made arrangements to meet downtown at one in the morning. I went over to El Alamo where I had read they televised American Sporting Events, as I wanted to watch the opening game of the Lakers / Celtic championship series. However, the place was packed wall to wall and the doorman did not even think they were showing the game. Ramiro told me to go watch the game at the Mansion, home of this Websites creator where a group of guys were gathering, but I did not feel that comfortable waltzing in as an unknown. So, decide to go to Madahos and see if they had the game on while taking one last glance at the lovelies. Madahos had the same striking crowd of women as the previous week, but I was told I would have to tip 50P to get the DJ to switch the TV over from the Speed Channel to the game. F*#k them, so after a few nice conversations, I went back to my apartment and watched the 2nd half of the game from there. Met up at the appointed time with Natalia, had a few drinks and a bite to eat and than back to my apartment. I was banking on the fact that repeat rounds with a girl usually go better than the previous ones, and this is exactly what happened. This time she brought her own Latin music, along with some special lingerie and I was treated to a very sensual strip tease dance which was a nice added treat. We partied deep into the night again and she left early in the morning as she has a little kid at home. It was all pretty much straight sex but very passionate. A great end to the trip.
I had a flight out the next day at 8:00 p:m. I wanted to visit Gysell's Privado, that I had read about here or at least Naileas massage also reviewed here. Unfortunately, I was feeling too tired, had a nasty hangover and time was running out. Seven nights of booze and debauchery had done me in. Wound up just slowly packing, grabbing a bite to eat and next thing I know I am checking out and in a Taxi to the Airport.120P. So long for now Argentina.
In summing up, after a slow start I wound up having a pretty damn good time. I will grade my work in BA only a C+, but taking into account I had a lot of rust on me with 5 years out of the game, being my first time in BA and traveling solo. Perhaps a grade of a be- may be more appropriate. I expect to do much better with a higher rate of return on my investment the next time I come back.
Miscellaneous things I enjoyed and hope to report on in more detail in the appropriate threads:
Visiting a Local Spa in Palermo during the day and enjoying their facilities. Not the 4 Seasons by any stretch, but it had dry and wet saunas a cold dip pool, masseuses, facialist etc. At bargain basement prices for US standards. It definitely helped me to clear out the cobwebs from the previous late nights of partying.
Walking around Palermo and elsewhere and taking a break at various outdoor cafés for a Beer or Espresso and People Watching.
The Sunday Fair at Plaza Serrano in Palermo was an awesome spectacle. I sat outside at some restaurant at Main and Main in the late afternoon / early evening to eat and drink and ogle at a parade of the prettiest gathering of chic woman as I have witnessed anywhere. A feast for the eyes. Apparently, this is just on Sundays as I did not see a high concentration of good looking woman like that again.
City tour, learning of the interesting History of BA, seeing the famous buildings, statues etc.
Comparing BA to Brazil: I found BA similar to Sao Paulo in that both are big cities that have great night life with high quality clubs, woman and restaurants. Both cities offer little to do during the days. BA is much prettier with its parks and buildings and is far less spread out, which made it easier to navigate and less traffic. One could also enjoy nice long walks in BA as opposed to Sao Paulo. Plus, BA felt much safer than Sao Paulo or Rio late at night. The architecture in BA was amazing and the food was very good. I would say the food was on par with Brazil, but I prefer the Churrascarias that Brazil offers.
Bang for the Buck (no pun intended) BA gets the nod. In the old days of 3 to 3+ reals per dollar, Brazil was an incredible value but alas those days are long gone. I would say great value can be found in Buenos Aires, while one would be more hard pressed to find that value in Brazil right now. This is especially true regarding accommodations as to BA vs. Rio.
I found the Argentinean woman prettier overall, though my taste leans toward the lighter skinned euro mix look of Argentineans. My biggest surprise was that I found the women in BA to be equal in passion as to their Brazilian counterparts, which by that, I mean World Class. At least in my small statistical sampling.
What separates Brazil apart from Buenos Aires is that in the beach cities of Brazil, especially in Rio, is that you can spend your days on the beach, eating, drinking, swimming and even getting massages all while viewing bikini clad girls and all the other scenery. Also, the Brazilians seem to be a much friendlier bunch. In Brazil I would have locals start conversations with me all the time while sitting in cafes or on the beach. In BA I did not have a single Porteno give me a second glance.
That's a wrap. I just wanted to add my small story as a contribution to this Website. Hope this trip report may bring some amusement / entertainment to any who read it and that it wasn't too long / boring. I enjoyed writing this little synopsis as it helped me relive some memorable moments.
Specials Thanks to Ramiro of L'alliance who was very generous with his time and information. I found his restaurant to be a little Oasis in the Desert for me, who as a non Spanish speaker and on my own, felt a little ill at ease at times in this city.
Another Big Thanks to the awesome AP Website, its creator and its contributors. So many great tips, alas I was only able to execute a few in my short time. There will be a second trip, so I may take advantage of more of these tips. Maybe as soon as October / November when it is a bit less frio.
Fear and Loathing in Buenos Aires: A Savage Journey to the Heart of the AmericanDream
Thanks for the great report.
A Great report - even better title
I especially liked your comparisons of BA to Brazil. Seems like your comparisons were confined to Rio and San Paulo - any experience to South Brazil (that destination seems to compare more favorably in finance, and friendliness of the people, and weather / beach)
