Forum Civility

I believe much of this has been due to miscommunication and language translation issues. The ladies on the list should definitely not attack one another and should support each other, however, Ale's offense of writing in Spanish when her attempts at English are clearly just getting her in more and more trouble are understandable. Her point about the picture was a valid one which Jackson has resolved in what I view as an extraordinarily reasonable fashion. If Ale sent the threatening email then she should be sanctioned. Threats should not be tolerated by any list or its memebers as they open the list to potential litigation, exposure, and ultimate destruction.

What is clearly insane is that the forum allows men to refer to these ladies as if they are inanimate objects. Destroying a (or many) woman by referring to natural effects of ageing, the effects of cosmetic surgery, and certainly the use of descriptive terms one's mother should have taught a gentleman not to ever use will certainly drive any reasonable woman away from this forum. Personally, I would rather share a drink with a woman with some potential issues than a gutter talking trash rat who would hit them when they are clearly down with disgusting and demeaning descriptors. I am not defending Ale as her posts are clearly sometimes inflammatory and whether or not it was intended, it appeared that she was attacking Mia who handled it in her usual professional way.

My point is that there is no excuse for a gentleman to stoop to the level of pond scum. If you can't make your point in a reasonable fashion then you probably don't have much of a point. Possibly these individuals derive some sort of self satisfaction from being hurtful to a lady? Possibly it inflates their ego to think they hurt her? Possibly they don't realize that many men on this list simply think it shows they either have the lexicon of the average 12 year old or they truly need some professional help. If I were a lady on the list I would never consider meeting any guy who finds it acceptable to talk about or to a woman in this way. I would search the posts of the people who call and instantly say no to people who have treated others as objects or used such derogatory verbiage. It is a short trip from verbal abuse, which this is, to physical abuse.

Possibly, I am in the minority on this issue but if this is true then I would not really want to associate with the majority. I suspect, however, that the majority of the male members agree at least to some extent. I know that nearly all the men from this list whom I have had the pleasure to meet would not find this behavior acceptable and would certainly not tolerate it in their presence. If I am correct, then possibly the men on this forum need to let the few who degrade women know that their behavior is not acceptable. I have no problem with telling them how you feel or when they screw up etc, but it should be done in a civilized manner. If action needs to be taken then Jackson can take it with the click of his mouse. I think this same ability to correct behavior should be applied to the male abusers.

If I were one of the members who has acted in such a way, I would publicly appologize for the way I went about letting Ale and others know how I felt. I think this would be the civil thing to do and might help bring civility to the list and lead to a growing number of true ladies wanting to be a part of it. Man up boys and do the right thing.

Pete

The post by Pete is spot on. A very articulate and thoughtful comment about the inappropriate use of language to chastize a forum member for a preceived violation of the forum rules. Ale is a very special woman who is thoughtful, kind, considerate, sophisticated, charming and beautiful. While some might delight in criticizing her posts, they should do so in a manner that is not demeaning or hurtful. And, Ale "has earned respect". Since Peter has covered the topic so very well, this incident should be put to rest and his words should be carefully considered by the forum members.

MEB

[QUOTE=Peter Sideburn;418011]Possibly these individuals derive some sort of self satisfaction from being hurtful to a lady? Possibly it inflates their ego to think they hurt her?[/QUOTE][blue]Peter Sideburn,

You've succinctly identified the core issue.

Thanks,

Jackson[/blue]

[QUOTE=Jackson; 418022][blue]Peter Sideburn,

You've succinctly identified the core issue.

Thanks,

Jackson[/blue][/QUOTE]To a great extent I agree with Jackson and Mr. Sideburn. However, I think one would have to be pretty blind not to see that at least some of Alejandra's posts directed towards Mia (who I've never met) have been needlessly catty and silly. I don't see any reason not to call her out on those posts just as anyone else who posts on AP gets called out from time to time. Maybe I'm wrong, but the sense of princess-like entitlement has seemed pretty obvious.

On the other hand, there are a number of mongers who obviously take great delight in kicking a chica when she's down and who do so with only the slightest provocation. The price police patrol lick their chops to get in a few shots, and then you have the mongers who might need a little psycho-therapy to look at their mommie issues, or help them to come to grips with that one chica who laid a 2x4 to 'em a long time back.

At any rate, Jackson's decision to allow more chicas to advertise and post here will cause some problems in what has for a long time been almost an exclusive "Men's Club". No way around it.