Swat team at the house

I'm typing this from the Admirals Club, I cut my trip short cause I am just worn out and I want to get back to work.

I was in town a month living like Charlie Sheen, arrived with 6k$, leaving with 400$.

Last night was just nuts.

Jackson, I apologize but as you read on you will see that I'm a cool guy.

Went out to disco with the brazilian stealth hooker I have been fucking for five days now for free.

My chica tried to keep up with me drinking vodka speed, bad idea for anyone.

Went to some disco I found online, it was hopping. I bought the bottle I got free VIP.

We go upstairs get a couch start drinking, I start carrying on with the chicas, my chica did not like that at all. Then I pulled out a perfectly rolled joint with the best of the best inside and start passing it around the dance floor. I instantly had 10 new friends and got two chicas numbers they gave them to me.

Chica got really drunk at 4 am, so I said vamos.

In the taxi she started drunken rambling and asked the taxi driver to take her back to the provincia, and he said "yes". At 4 am with a really drunk girl and a creepy cab driver, that was not happening, besides I knew she was going to stay the night.

Cab gets to the casa, I pull drunk girl out. She can't stand up at this point so I picked her up and threw her over my shoulder and carried her up 3 flights of steps in drunk baby sitter mode, a skill I learned well in the USMC.

Put her on her side towel under head her hand on the trash can next to the bed. Rolled up towels so she woudl not roll on her back, and then I made a pot of coffee.

Just when the coffee was done I heard the door bell ring and was like "WTF is that". I aswered and they said it was the police.

I went down stairs and it looked like a blue light disco outside. As I opened the door two dudes in body armor picked me up took me to the ground with a gun to my head. I went gringo mode and asked for the tourist police. A female officer replied "I am tourist police" in english and asked me where the girl was. I said "passed out drunk upstairs". They led me upstairs and I showed them a fully clothed drunk girl passed out in a seperate bed than me.

The female officer asked why I did not let her go to provincia. I told her I was worried about the cab driver doing something to her and she needed a safe place to sleep it off. They woke the chica with me in another room and I heard her say "this is my boyfriends house" in spanish. The cops went into huddle mode. Then the female officer came up to me in english and said I was a good guy for protecting her and shook my hand, then they all left very quickly. When I walked them out the fucking cab driver was across the street.

It was him who called the cops. He probally wanted his rape victim back.

Chica woke up fresh as a daisy screwed me until 230, then I told her I was leaving. She was very sad. I was probably the nicest guy she has ever met.

Now that's just TOO much fun for an evening in BA!

Don't you just hate that gun to the head shit in a foreign country where they can plant stuff on you ?
At least she did not jump off of your balcony !

Lesson Learned :

GH, these girls down here can't drink like the Slutus Americanus variety that you Boys have back in the States!

I LOVE a drunk girl in private but NOT in public!

Not an Argie, Paraguayan, Brazilian, etc, etc!

They don't know how to hold their liquor.

I hold mine by the ears!

Now, an English or Irish girl might beat the best of us!

It could have been REAL bad Dude!

The cab driver's M. O was probably because he was pissed off about losing a huge fare or maybe you made him hate the Yanks and be a bit jealous.

But yes, he called the police and enjoyed himself!

Could have been a lot worse!

Lines on the table, the girl nude and rude!

Mad at you for leaving BA!

You got off easy Buddy!

CRAZY SIMONE, also Brazilian, hit me in the mouth in my resto one night in front of Sidney, etc.

Then she called 911 and told them that I was selling blow and chicas!

I RAN HOME!

All because I hooked up a friend of ours with Myra instead of her!

Looney Tunes!

Following night I met Sgt. Gutierrrez, undercover cocksucker; told me he knew who I was, talked about what had happened to a tourist and told me I had to pay if there was going to be girls at my resto!

FLAT OUT BRIBE, extorsion attempt!

I explained that it just so happens that all of my girlfriends are hookers and that I did not make any money so I could not pay him.

You know crazy Simone!

Get Well,

TL

P.S - I would have had to walk over and tell the fucking cab driver to mind his own business and to suck my dog's dick !

IN SPANISH !

P.S.S _
Funny Story :

A friend of mine got busted with 172 individual bags of blow in BA !

FUCK !

After a few hours in jail he was brought before the "MAN" and he was charged with having 2 bags of blow !

WTF ? Of course he did not say that he had 172 !

There was a survey recently to see which is the most corrupt country in the world .

Paraguay came in second right behind Nigeria because Paraguay paid a bribe to not be number 1 !

[QUOTE=Gato Hunter; 424731]I'm typing this from the Admirals Club, I cut my trip short cause I am just worn out and I want to get back to work.

I was in town a month living like Charlie Sheen, arrived with 6k$, leaving with 400$.

Last night was just nuts.

Jackson, I apologize but as you read on you will see that I'm a cool guy.

Went out to disco with the brazilian stealth hooker I have been fucking for five days now for free.

My chica tried to keep up with me drinking vodka speed, bad idea for anyone.

Went to some disco I found online, it was hopping. I bought the bottle I got free VIP.

We go upstairs get a couch start drinking, I start carrying on with the chicas, my chica did not like that at all. Then I pulled out a perfectly rolled joint with the best of the best inside and start passing it around the dance floor. I instantly had 10 new friends and got two chicas numbers they gave them to me.

Chica got really drunk at 4 am, so I said vamos.

In the taxi she started drunken rambling and asked the taxi driver to take her back to the provincia, and he said "yes". At 4 am with a really drunk girl and a creepy cab driver, that was not happening, besides I knew she was going to stay the night.

Cab gets to the casa, I pull drunk girl out. She can't stand up at this point so I picked her up and threw her over my shoulder and carried her up 3 flights of steps in drunk baby sitter mode, a skill I learned well in the USMC.

Put her on her side towel under head her hand on the trash can next to the bed. Rolled up towels so she woudl not roll on her back, and then I made a pot of coffee.

Just when the coffee was done I heard the door bell ring and was like "WTF is that". I aswered and they said it was the police.

I went down stairs and it looked like a blue light disco outside. As I opened the door two dudes in body armor picked me up took me to the ground with a gun to my head. I went gringo mode and asked for the tourist police. A female officer replied "I am tourist police" in english and asked me where the girl was. I said "passed out drunk upstairs". They led me upstairs and I showed them a fully clothed drunk girl passed out in a seperate bed than me.

The female officer asked why I did not let her go to provincia. I told her I was worried about the cab driver doing something to her and she needed a safe place to sleep it off. They woke the chica with me in another room and I heard her say "this is my boyfriends house" in spanish. The cops went into huddle mode. Then the female officer came up to me in english and said I was a good guy for protecting her and shook my hand, then they all left very quickly. When I walked them out the fucking cab driver was across the street.

It was him who called the cops. He probally wanted his rape victim back.

Chica woke up fresh as a daisy screwed me until 230, then I told her I was leaving. She was very sad. I was probably the nicest guy she has ever met.[/QUOTE]Best story I have heard here in awhile. What happened to the chica you were going to be faithful to?

[QUOTE=WhiteCat;424770]Best story I have heard here in awhile. What happened to the chica you were going to be faithful to?[/QUOTE]She turns into a greedy ***** so I ditched her.

[QUOTE=Gato Hunter;424774]She turns into a greedy ***** so I ditched her.[/QUOTE]What did you expect?

From a Brazilian working girl!

TL

[QUOTE=TejanoLibre; 424840]What did you expect?

From a Brazilian working girl!

TL[/QUOTE]

Not to worry, Gato, I'll be there in a month to take over...... I hope you let her keep the toothbrush.