Here's one for Papa Benito
Upon hearing that her elderly grandfather had just passed away, Katie went straight to her grandparent's house to visit her 95 year old grandmother and comfort her. When she asked how her grandfather had died, her grandmother replied, "He had a heart attack while we were making love on Sunday morning." Horrified, Katie told her grandmother that two people nearly 100 years old having sex would surely be asking for trouble. "Oh no, my dear," replied granny. "Many years ago, realizing our advanced age, we figured out that the best time to do it was when the church bells would start to ring. It was just the right rhythm. Nice and slow and even. Nothing too strenuous, simply in on the Ding and out on the Dong." She paused to wipe away a tear, and continued, "He'd still be alive if that fucking ice cream truck hadn't come along."
Must be written by a monger, right?
[url]http://www.theonion.com/content/node/52981[/url]
Sez it all about (some) lawyers
One afternoon, a lawyer was riding in his limousine when he saw two men along the roadside eating grass.
Disturbed, he ordered his driver to stop and he got out to investigate.
He asked one man, "Why are you eating grass?"
"We don't have any money for food," the poor man replied. "We have to eat grass."
"Well, then, you can come with me to my house and I'll feed you," the lawyer said.
"But sir, I have a wife and two children with me. They are over there, under that tree."
"Bring them along," the lawyer replied.
Turning to the other poor man he stated, "You come with us, also."
The second man, in a pitiful voice, then said, "But sir, I also have a wife and SIX children with me!"
"Bring them all, as well," the lawyer answered.
They all entered the car, which was no easy task, even for a car as large as the limousine was.
Once underway, one of the poor fellows turned to the lawyer and said,
"Sir, you are too kind. Thank you for taking all of us with you."
The lawyer replied, "Glad to do it. You'll really love my place.
The grass is almost a foot high."
Website with familiar backgrounds
Came accross this site by accident. Aside from some nice tail shots, there are pics that look to have familiar background shots. Vote on the tail to see the next pic.
[url]http://www.culomovil.com/index.php[/url]
Not a joke per se but a funny sight
While it is not exactly a joke, the following was particularly amusing.
A few hours before my flight out of town I was in the transitorio around the block from Cafe Orleans. There was porn playing on a screen - with Spanish subtitles!
Obviously the dialogue in such cinematic fare is beside the point (other than possible inadvertent humor value). That said, I just found it amusing that someone would take the trouble to translate the dialogue into subtitles. Without them, a non-English speaking viewer would simply be lost as to what was going on.