Buenos Aires Tip Sheet

[Daddy Rulz]

Vos sos muy bella, pero quiero mirar un poco antes de decider.

Que parte la palabra no usted no entiende? Puta. Less formaly, Que parte la palabra no vos no entendes? Puta. Use this phrase after you politly tell them you're not interested now and they act like they don't understand you, ask you for a tip, ask you to buy them a drink, ask you for 10 dollars because their mother needs eye glasses, asks you to buy their friend a drink, asks you if you want to fuck their friend.

Contrary to popular opinion I do try to be polite some times. I find being polite in boliches and lacking Spanish is like driving in Mexico, if you show any fear forget it, it's all over but the crying, you have to be bold. I think Jacksons response is better than telling them they are pretty and you want to look around.

Like another republican advocates, just say no, say it firmly and a bit dismissively. If after a beer or six you decide that perhaps she is worthy of wearing your spooge, having treated her a little brusquely will make her more amenable to your offer. The way chicas respect strong men and hold weakness in contempt is a subject that can never be overstated. If you have her thinking she needs to impress you to get the dollas than you're half way to a good fuck for less money. If on the other hand she senses blood in the water like the perfect predator she is, you're chum.

[Facundo]

I tell them in spanish "You are very attractive, but I like to look around before I make a decision." Unfortunately for you, I know how to say this but not how to write this in spanish.

Vos sos muy bella, pero quiero mirar un poco antes de decider.

[El Viking79]

Just wanted to say high five on the tip sheet, your work is not going unnoticed and I for one hope you keep it up. Like maybe a yearly update, with everyone of the fellow B. A. Mongers chipping in. ¿No?

[Jackson]

Hi Noodleman,

What is the best phrase to use when declining an offer to seat someone at the boliches?

"Gracias, No", and then walk away.

When pondering over the selections at the boliches, what is a nice way to reject the walk ups?

I tell them in spanish "You are very attractive, but I like to look around before I make a decision." Unfortunately for you, I know how to say this but not how to write this in spanish.

What does dusting off the house pig mean exactly?

It means that you should expect to be first approached by the ugliest chica working in the club that night, and thus you want to be mentally prepared to thwart her advances.

When is the best time to visit the boliches for maximum quality of targets?

Generally at or just after midnight.

[Thomaso276]

No gracias.

No gracias or tell them you like blondes if they are brunette, brunette if they are blond, tall if short, short if tall, etc. If they get pushy tell them to leave. I usually tell them that if I wanted to talk to them I would have called them over.

It is like dusting off the newbie question.

Different hours for different clubs. If you arrive before 11 you will get to see all the talent walk in. By 1 am whatever is in the club will be your selection for the night. If you do not see what you like hit other clubs immediately.

[Noodleman]

Hello Jackson, just a few follow up questions to the tip sheet for us newbies.

What is the best phrase to use when declining an offer to seat someone at the boliches?

When pondering over the selections at the boliches, what is a nice way to reject the walk ups?

What does dusting off the house pig mean exactly?

When is the best time to visit the boliches for maximum quality of targets?

Thanks.

[Zhomeguy]

Jackson,

I've been to B. A. off and on now for a few years, and have used a number of your recommedations. In reference to your tip sheet private apartments- Best to downgrade SantaFe 1707 apt 3, to $$. It does not even compare in quality either to CeiloPrivate on Larrea. SantaFe may have a few more girls at times though, but facilities are much higher in quality and the madam much more professional at Ceilo. Rates at Ceilo - $200, 220, and 250 pesos. SantaFe - straight $100 pesos (any extras-you and girl negot.) I also tried Maipu 429 5th floor, as a walk up twice now and recieved no answer. I'll try phone contact prior to my next visit.

Zhomeguy

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Hi Zhomeguy,

Actually the "$$" system is intended only to indicate approximate price range, not quality. Perhaps the correct thing would be to re-evaluate Ceilo at "$$$$".

Thanks,

Jackson

[MrRecoleta]

First off. Great work!

I agree with previous comments that recommendations of restaurants may be a waste of space here (maybe add an advertisment for El Alamo!

I would add a section on massages my favourites are:

-Croix possibly the best infrastructure in town for happy end massage. Sauna, showers, party room, etc. Etc.

-Brisa.

-Dream On.

Both change the girls regularly and have better and worse times. Both have sauna, which I love after the massage, helps to get all the cream off before going home and really relaxes you.

[El Perro]

Shit, I recall how that happened to me on two occasions. Argentina really is a corrupt country.

LOL LOL LOL

[Nemesis]

Shit, I recall how that happened to me on two occasions. Argentina really is a corrupt country.

[Nemesis]

What does this mean? "dust off the house pig".

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Hi Nemesis,

When you first settle in at a club you will often be approached (usually at the urging of the house management) by the ugliest girl there (aka the "house pig"). The purpose of this tactic to see if they can foist their worst "inventory" off on you, thus preserving their best girls for more discriminating clients. Surprisingly enough, this tactic actually works on occasion. For example, Exon will always fall for the first chica that approaches him. He always protests when I point this out to him, even while he's sitting in the club with the chica in his lap, but sure enough 20 minutes later he's out the door with the same chica.

Anyway, the point is to know what's happening and to be prepared to tell the house pig to get lost so you can take your time, survey all the available chicas and then make your own selection.

Thanks,

Jackson

[RaymanFly]

Jackson,

I'm new to the board thinking of taking my first trip to Argentian in mid Oct. Very impressed with the information I see on the form and all the helpful hints I do like the tip sheet I easy to printout page so that we do not have to hunt and peck through to assemble our own.

Thanks

[Alan23]

Does anyone know if the "Cubierto or Servicio Mesa" in restaurants is split with the waiters or is this entirely for the House?

This charge combined with a 5% propina can push the total after meal expense to the 15-20% range easily.

Alan

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Hi Alan23

The cubierto goes to the restaurant. It's basically to prevent loitering.

Thanks,

Jackson

[Stormy]

La Chacra is horribly overpriced. All it has is location. Estilo Campo beats Cabana Las Lilas for value, food, and service along with dozens of other restaurants in BA. A few gringos have privately admitted carnal knowledge of that cow in La Chacra and even she is overpriced.

[Moore]

Where is "Lord Jim", so we can avoid it?

Rio de Janeiro.