Hunt's Laws of Mongering

[Hunt99]

For now, I announce:

Hunt's Law Number Two: Don't monger while drunk.

Commentary: One would think this to be self-evident, but while one drink may be permissible to loosen up an uptight monger, and perhaps two are sufficient to get a pleasant buzz, four or five or ten are definitely too many. Contrary to popular belief, you are not more charming or desirable to women when your liver is marinated in Beefeater Gin. Your ability to successfully negotiate a reasonable price for sex is diminished by an exponential amount with each additional drink you consume. The more you drink, the more you are apt to fall victim to "Sidney Syndrome," when an otherwise intelligent monger insists on screwing incredibly ugly chicas, and then boasting the next day about how beautiful they were (all the while nursing a hangover). Finally, there is the dreaded risk of "whisky dick," in which a normal, red-blooded monger has an inability to achieve an erection. It is reported that this malady is also observed in men who have been married for more than seven years.

[Geo Eye]

Don't touch it!

I cannot agree with you more Sidney. So many times if they are not.

Into it from the very get go. It is a usually a disaster. There are so many sluts.

In arg. why waste your time with someone with a bad attitude.

This is something I have learned the hard way.

[Toymann]

I wish I could claim these laws as Toymann originals but I have found these two laws to be self evident!

1) If the Chica is unhappy you will not improve her mood by sticking your dick in her!

2) If they can't Dance, they can't fuck either!

[Hunt99]

In this thread I shall announce the authentic pronouncement of Hunt's Laws of Mongering, beginning with the first and most important one:

Hunt's Law Number One: The cock you please must be your own.

Commentary: You are mongering for your own pleasure. The point is that you visit such boliches, drill such chicas, and pay such prices as you deem pleasurable. You certainly are not mongering for the benefit of anybody else.

I encourage any and all posters to suggest further Hunt's Laws.