The perils of our hobby

[StrayLight]

...B2) Have an excuse ready that at least limits the damage.

There are two kinds of lies that will generally get you out of jams:

1. The Whopper - tell something so totally outrageous that it practically defies reality. For example, when I was married the first time, I got quasi-caught with having had a brief casual encounter. I told my wife that in fact, I had gotten curious and had had sex with a guy I had met at a work conference. It so totally blew her mind that the details didn't even matter. She was stunned and more concerned about whether I was gay than about any straying that might have happened.

2. The Near Truth - tell almost the entire truth, but divert just slightly at the key issue. It's hard to describe how this works unless you've done it, but if you ever saw the Diane Keaton movie, "The Little Drummer Girl," that was the exact basis of the lie. The underlying strength is that you believe it (for the most part). I've done it many times, and it usually works like a charm.

[Thomaso276]

Aleman, see you soon. Sorry about the shit.

We'll talk over a beer.

[Redondo]

They were from my home country, and the way how that single one ended up in my luggage on the way back is a story by itself!

El Alemán

Seems like a nice story, so if you don't mind telling

Where did you buy them?

I know at Schiphol there is only one place that sells condoms after customs, good to know where.

[El Aleman]

They were from my home country, and the way how that single one ended up in my luggage on the way back is a story by itself!

El Alemán

[Redondo]

Buy your condoms at the airport and make sure you don't bring them with you.

Buying in your home country is also a good idea as Argentine condoms suck and are dangerous

[El Perro]

I would have told her to stop nosing around in my luggage and to get back to the stove.

LOL Rockin. Sorry to hear about your plight El Aleman. For your consideration, a better name for the thread-"The perils of marriage". Keep a stiff upper.

[Rockin Bob]

I would have told her to stop nosing around in my luggage and to get back to the stove.

[El Aleman]

Folks,

The following is posted for your amusement, and maybe one or the other learns something out of it.

I came back from my last Argentina trip end of July. Said hello to my "significant other", chatted a little bit with her, including what to do about dinner, dumped my luggage and headed for the shower after 30 hours travelling. Back from the bathroom, I went to the kitchen and again raised the issue of tonight's dinner.

Came back:"Oh, that's the least of my concerns". Me: "What's up?". Her "THAT's UP!" throwing a new, still wrapped up condom in front of me.

I will spare you the details of the following 6 weeks, just so much that I moved out yesterday. Some highlights include that I lost about 15 pounds (which is the only good thing) spent a couple 100 bucks on a marital therapist (peanuits compared with what I am going to spend on lawyers) and just had a hell of a time. Or was it a time in hell?

What can we learn out of my experience?

A) When married don't monger.

B) If a) is not an option, for whatever reasons, be triple careful:

B1) Double, triple, quad check your luggage when packing. Be paranoid about it.

B2) Have an excuse ready that at least limits the damage. A good one came from my brother in law, "look, honey, you know that I don't do such things. But even if it comes to the worst, I want at least to be sure that nothing happens that gets us into real trouble"

B3) Don't get careless because you did not get cought the last 10 years. That's the reason why jails are full, spies get shot and mongers end up buried under a truckload of shit.

C) If be is not an option, well, live with the consequences.

Fortunately, Germany has abolished capital punishment, for murder as well as in divorce court. It's much cheaper over here than in most states of the US. It will cost me a fortune, anyway.

Now my problem is, the only really nice place for me to stay is my apartment in Buenos Aires. I will be in town nearly all of October. I am willing to tell the whole story, you may even laugh at my expense - as long as you pay the drinks!

Jackson, you are free to move this thread to another location if you think that's more appropriate. See you in a couple of days.

El Alemán