Learning to be a Rockstar

[Kamikaze]

I don't know how you remember things so well. I can barely remember last night.

Well you see, Gato Hunter, it's like this... A herd of buffalo can only move as fast as the slowest buffalo and when the herd is hunted, it is the slowest and weakest ones at the back that are killed first. This natural selection is good for the herd as a whole, because the general speed and health of the whole group keeps improving by the regular killing of the weakest members. In much the same way, the human brain can only operate as fast as the slowest brain cells. Now, as we know, excessive drinking of alcohol kills brain cells. But naturally, it attacks the slowest and weakest brain cells first. In this way, regular consumption of beer eliminates the weaker brain cells, making the brain a faster and more efficient machine. And that, Gato Hunter, is why you always feel smarter after a few beers.

LOL. Stranger turned me on to that theory one afternoon at Exedra.

[Gato Hunter]

I don't know how you remember things so well. I can barely remember last night.

[Kamikaze]

I wake up Monday afternoon with a strange feeling. I'm in Buenos Aires but it's been more than 24 hours since I've gotten layed. I don't like this feeling one bit. It's a holiday but I need to exchange some cash. The usual place is closed but Daddy Rulz tells me the Chinese cambio might be open since they don't care about Argentina holidays. He tells me there is a privado near the cambio so I can take the edge off. I'm in luck. The cambio is open and so is the privado. It's the one on Esmerelda. I select a tall thin pretty brunette and we go back to the room. She askes me what I did last night and I say I went to some bars with some friends. She ask's is I went to Madahos and I say yea, we went there around, She says 1:00, finishing my sentence. I say, that's right. How did you know? She tells me she saw me there. She works there. Even at a privado I end up with a Madahos girl. I love this town.

As I'm leaving the privado I get a text from Gato Hunter asking if I'm done. The Fantastic Five is at Bullers and I jump into a cab. We spend the rest of the day drinking and having a good time. Later that night Gato Hunter and I hit Hook together. He grabs a girl right off the bat and I'm looking around for what I like. There is not a lot to choose from. His girl brings over two of her friends for me but I don't really like either one. I see Cielo, the beautiful blonde from the other night that Stranger was going to take but ended up with someone else. Unfortunately she is already busy with someone else. I tell Gato Hunter and he says "Fuck that" and gets the owner of the club. Two seconds later the guy she was with is gone and Cielo is delivered into my arms. Now that is service. Gato Hunter and I both have what we want and we head back to the house.

We get to the house and fire up the stripper pole. Gato Hunter takes a time out for some pregame and I talk to Cielo a little. She only wants to stay for 2 hours and she wants to get paid in advance. At the bar I thought it was the whole night but that's no big deal, it could have been my mistake. I was told never to pay in advance. She tells me some guy, I won't post his name, was staying at the house and didn't pay her. Gato Hunter come in and I tell him she wants to get paid in advanced. He starts yelling at them to "get the fuck out"! She explained the story and I agreed to show her that I had the money and she would be paid afterward. It pissed us all off that someone staying at the house would cheat a girl out of her money. When we got up to my room I put the money on the dresser under a glass and said it was there for her when she wanted it. She didn't seem to concerned about it. I think by that point she knew I wasn't the kind of guy who would rip her off. We had an awesome time together and she even gave me her phone number. Rockstar's collect phone numbers.

[TejanoLibre]

To be honest I don't really remember Friday. I remember waking up with the same hangover from the previous day. I think I remember starting the day with Stranger, Joe 23 and Rocky2 drinking beers at Exedra around noon. I'm pretty sure Stranger spent the evening with either "The Personality" or "The Girl Next Door" I'm drawing a blank on Friday. Sorry. I know it was a good day because I was in Buenos Aires.

Reminds me of High School in Texas.

Feeding the Girls "Boone's Farm" wine and fucking them but not remembering a thing about it.

Glad you had a good time.

Come Back Soon.

Take Care.

TL.

[Kamikaze]

Sunday (Gato Hunters birthday).

Stranger told me to refer to the last member of our group as "The Monger from California" to keep him under the radar. I'm pretty sure nobody will figure him out from that name. LOL. From this point on Stranger, Gato Hunter, Rocky2, "The Monger from California" and I hang out a lot together. It's a really good group. For the most part we are together from the first meal of the day until the wee hours of the morning. Instead of listing everyone's names every time I'll just say the Fantastic Five. Sometimes there is only 3 or 4 of us together but eventually we all get together.

It's Sunday afternoon and the Fantastic Five meets up at Bullers. We are just hanging out having a good time and we feel a few rain drops. We move inside and it starts a torrential downpour. Eventually it gets so bad the power goes out. Our waitress closes out or tab and kicks us out. It's not the kind of weather you can catch a cab in but one of us is staying a couple blocks away and he invites us over. The power is out so there is no elevator. It's a long, long way up. The good news is there was plenty of vodka and Red Bull to quench my thirst once I made it to the top. We hang out for a while and Strangers "Girl Next Door" comes over to join us. Let me just say her nickname has nothing to do with her looks. She is smoking hot. Eventually the power comes back on and we agree to meet up at Black around 11:00.

Stranger is in for the night with "The Girl Next Door" but the rest of us meet a Black. Gato Hunter said it best: "meat on a hook" We are early and pretty much the only guys in there. There must be a rule that says the chicas can't come within a meter of us without being invited and the can't speak to us unless spoken to. We are standing at our table basically surrounded by girls staring us down trying to make eye contact with us. There are a couple of hot ones dancing but I didn't even finish my drink before the guys decided to leave.

Off we go to Hook. Yummy Mendoza girls, check. Hot as fuck blonde that dances sexy as hell but has a bad attitude, check. There is some good stuff in the house. Even though Stranger is not there we seem to be keeping his schedule because before I can try out a Mendoza we are off to Newport.

Newport has nothing and off we go to Madahos. I must have learned lesson 1 well because when "The Manager" see me she yells my name and gives me a big hug. We sit down and get some drinks. I see a smoking hot chica and I ask "The Manager" about her. She tells me "No. That is a 5 minute girl" She wants to finish you off and be out the door in 5 minutes. Gato Hunter told me he likes tall girls so I look around and she a girl who looks really tall and thin. I'm 6'2" so I tell him I'm going to go stand next to her as a reference. I can't just stand next to her so I talk to her for a minute. She is very pretty and she says that she is 1.75 meters without the heels. Her name is Alexa or Alexis. I go back to Gato Hunter and he is not really interested in her. He has VIP wrist bands for Kika and he wants to stop by the house to get them. I want to leave with Alexa but it's Gato Hunters birthday and I want to be a good wingman. I have also never been to a disco in BA and VIP promises some good advantages. We are leaving and "The Manager" stops me to ask if I want any of the girls. I tell her I like Alexa and if she isn't doing anything later she should meet us at Kika and I'll take her home with me. I tip "The Manager" and we go to Rocky2's place for a beer and some mate (my first time trying it).

We get back to the house for the wrist bands and Gato Hunter isn't up for it. He just wants to go to bed and it is after 3:00 am. I have been drinking since about noon so I'm a little tired also. It's another couple of days before I would get "The Managers" phone number. If I had it then I would have tried to order some delivery service, if that is possible. Gato Hunter taught me to always get the girls phone number. All things considered, it was another great day in Buenos Aires.

[Kamikaze]

Friday night you fucked the blonde fom hook. And we had a little drama from the past guests in las casa.

That was Monday. That is a funny story.

[Kamikaze]

Your a rock star no doubt but Ilona set the bar highher. I bought a table at a very high end club this weekend. It will be me one other board member and his chica. And 8 chicas I'm iviting.

Not Charlie sheen but billy idol would be proud.

Stripper party is Sat. Night I will leave from party to disco.

And then I will go fishing.

Thanks. That is a story I'm looking forward to hearing.

[Gato Hunter]

To be honest I don't really remember Friday. I remember waking up with the same hangover from the previous day. I think I remember starting the day with Stranger, Joe 23 and Rocky2 drinking beers at Exedra around noon. I'm pretty sure Stranger spent the evening with either "The Personality" or "The Girl Next Door" I'm drawing a blank on Friday. Sorry. I know it was a good day because I was in Buenos Aires.

Friday night you fucked the blonde fom hook. And we had a little drama from the past guests in las casa.

[Gato Hunter]

Your a rock star no doubt but Ilona set the bar highher. I bought a table at a very high end club this weekend. It will be me one other board member and his chica. And 8 chicas I'm iviting.

Not Charlie sheen but billy idol would be proud.

Stripper party is Sat. Night I will leave from party to disco.

And then I will go fishing.

[Kamikaze]

Daddy Rulz warns me to barricade my door with sandbags because things are going to get crazy. I've always been a great one for charging in where angels fear to tread so I say bring it on. I walk in the living room and there is Gato Hunter with "The Stealth Hooker" I like where this day is going already. I need a pick me up so I go to the corner store for 4 Red Bulls. Stranger's still in his room but I know he'll want one. Gato Hunter and I are hungry and it turns out we both love that fugazzeta pizza from El Cuartito. We decide to split a large and have it delivered. Jackson is already there and some of the other guys are starting to show up for the stripper party. The evening is unfolding nicely.

The girls finally arrive for the stripping and the show begins. I think Lunita and Pamelita are both cute. They have coordinated outfits and it looks like they have rehearsed some moves together. There is some production value to their show. They strip each others clothes off and give each other time to showcase their talents. It's not just two girls on stage awkwardly bumping into each other. I can appreciate that. Pamelita seems a little more shy while Lunita really seems to like watching herself in the mirror. There was an intermission and a costume change. I had a good time. Stranger gave me a 10 minute warning but I got so caught up in the show I missed the bus. I wasn't worried because I knew they were starting at Hook and I could catch up with them. I was talking to Daddy Rulz and Joe 23 after the show and the girls came up to hang out. Jackson told me to pick whichever one I wanted or both if I was into that. I'm a sucker for a pretty face so I took Lunita up to my room. We had a great time together. Later she told me my skin was the perfect temperature and we both fell asleep. We woke up around 4:00 and I walked her out and got her a cab. Another great night in Buenos Aires.

[Kamikaze]

To be honest I don't really remember Friday. I remember waking up with the same hangover from the previous day. I think I remember starting the day with Stranger, Joe 23 and Rocky2 drinking beers at Exedra around noon. I'm pretty sure Stranger spent the evening with either "The Personality" or "The Girl Next Door" I'm drawing a blank on Friday. Sorry. I know it was a good day because I was in Buenos Aires.

[Kamikaze]

Night 2 (Thursday).

I wake up a 2:00 pm with a bad hangover. I stumble downstairs and plop down into the chair next to Daddy Rulz. I ask him if Stranger is up yet. I think Stranger must have been born with two kidneys to process alcohol faster than humans do. He also only needs a few hours sleep because he has already hit the gym and he's been drinking at Exedra since noon. Just thinking about it makes my head hurt even more at this point so I ask Daddy Rulz for some suggestions. We talk about a few options and then he tells me about the Paola Vieira experience. I'm intrigued and he even offers to call and make an appointment for me.

Paola doesn't do incall and he place is out in Bellgra or something. As luck would have it Daddy Rulz is heading out that way to meet a couple friends. We all head out on the Subte together. Sardines in a can. Good lord it was like the taking the green line on the upper east side during rush hour in New York. It was worth it though. Paola is amazing. Things started out really sweet like a girlfriend doing some sexy things for Valentine's day. Whip cream, an ice cube and more. Then things went into a P.S.E. Then things moved into a level I haven't even seen in porn movies. That was a good time. I even found my way back on the Subte on my own and it was much less crowded.

I get back to the house and Strange is there. He tells me to take a nap because the tour bus is leaving at 9:45 pm. He has already had his 3 hours sleep for the day and "The Personality" is coming over in a few minutes for some aerobic activity. Rocky2 shows up at the house to join us and we head out to Nuevo Estilo.

We arrive at paradise (Nuevo Estilo) and Joe 23 is there with a friend of his. As soon as we arrived "The Retard" (I hate that nickname, she is so hot) is heading out with a client. I am still hung over and I need a pick me up, so I order a vodka / speed as my free drink. To my surprise there is no extra charge for the can of speed. The most beautiful woman in Buenos Aires (that's a better nickname for her) is gone so I look around for Mallory. She doesn't seem to be working that night. There is still a lot of talent there and as the alcohol starts to battle the hangover I start thinking about who I might like. That's about the time Stranger gives me the 2 minute warning bell. I know there is more good stuff to come so I don't mind.

We all pile into the cab. There are 5 of us so it's a bit like a clown car. We arrive at Hook and the owner is there to greet us with a kiss on the cheek. There is a lot of talent there. Stranger introduces me to the Mendoza girls. Four beautiful college girls from Mendoza. They are on break and have come to Buenos Aires to make some extra cash. Stranger tells me they are really cool girls and I should take one. He even gives me a money back guarantee. They are all hot but it's difficult to choose. He tells me the blonde one is the best kisser in Buenos Aires. They all love Stranger. I decide to see which I have the best connection with but they are all more concerned with flirting with Stranger then talking to me. No big deal. There are plenty of girls to choose from. Stranger even points out "The Lone Ranger" to me and tells me she is Gato Hunters girl. She looks really good but I'm not going to step on any toes so I consider her off limits.

In walks Cielo. Beautiful blonde with a great attitude and a smile that lights up the room. She is also a really great dancer, which I would find out later when she had her turn on the pole. She already knows Stranger and he locks in on her. I meet Delores, a former English teacher who found out she can make a lot more money working in Hook. She has a beautiful face and we have a really good connection so I buy her a drink. She took 6th place in a pole dancing competition last year and she teaches a pole dancing class during the day. I tell here there is a pole at the house and she says she knows, she's been on it before.

Strangers attention is fixed on Cielo and he tells me he is making his last stand here. I'm having a good time with Delores so that is fine with me. I buy her another drink and she tells me when we go she doesn't have to come back. I'm having a good time with Stranger so I'm not really in any rush to leave. I ask her about the price and she says between 600 and 800 pesos depending on what I want. It's around 3:00 am and I take Delores back to the house. She tells me all the girls at Hook have a nickname for Stranger. He is the king of giving girls nicknames so I have to know what nickname the girls have given him. They call him "The Friend" I laugh at the irony of "friend" and "stranger" having opposite meanings. I can see why they call him "The Friend" and it would still take me a few days before I figure out why he chose "Stranger" and his name on the board.

Delores and I get back to the house and I have a professional pole dancer and a stripper pole. What would you do? Hell yea! I fired up the stripper pole and some music for my own private show. We head up to my room for the main event and a good time is had by all. About an hour later Delores and I hear Stranger fire up the stripper pole and she starts laughing. I ask her what's so funny and she tells me Cielo had told her she wanted them to take Stranger and I back to the house for only an hour because she "didn't want to end up on the stripper pole" I found out later that Stranger took someone else back to the house but it was still pretty funny.

[Kamikaze]

I just got back home and it was snowing when I got off the plane. It's a good thing I have some red hot memories of my trip to keep me warm. Stranger kept telling me to write this trip up on the board so that's exactly what I'm going to do. It may take a few days to get it all posted. There was a lot of drinking involved (The herd has been thinned out) but I'll give you the best my memory can manage. Anyone else who was present can feel free to add on to what I miss. I spent 6+2 nights in Buenos Aires this trip. I was scheduled for 6 but things were getting so good I had to stay for 2 more. We'll get to that later. Lets start at the beginning.

Night 1 (Wednesday)

I have been to BA several time but this was my first time staying at the AP house. I knew from looking at the schedule that someone would already be in suite 1 when I arrived and a few days later someone else would occupy suite 3 but I had no idea who they would be. I was hoping they would be cool guys that I would get along with. I pretty much hit the jackpot. I got to the house around 10:00 am and got a warm welcome from my friend Daddy Rulz. I asked him who was in suite 1 and he told me it was Stranger. Then he thought for a minute and said "You know what? From what I know about you and what I know about him; I think you two are going to get along really well together". Truer words have never been spoken.

I was tired from the flight so I took a shower and had a little nap and exchanged some currency. I met Stranger and we hit it off so well he canceled his plans and said the two of us were going out on "The Stranger Tour". When I say he canceled his plans I mean he had a night with "The Personality" planned that he already paid for. He said, It's no problem. I'll just give her the night off. The people on this board who already know Stranger probably aren't surprised by this but for me just meeting him I was immediately impressed with the kind of guy he is. He told me to be ready to go at 10:00. The first stop on the Stranger tour was Nuevo Estilo.

We take a cab to Nuevo Estilo and it's not really the kind of place you could ever find if you didn't know where it is. 100 pesos to get in but that gets you a free drink. We both got gin and tonic's. My eyes almost pop out of my head when I see one of the most beautiful girls on the planet. Guess what, Stranger is already friends with her. We walk up and start talking to her. I say "holy shit!" Stranger says "It's what I do." He tells me she is the most feminine woman in Buenos Aires. He also tells me everything on her is perfect. He says "Even her pussy lips are perfect". He was right, but I'll get to that later. His nickname for her is "The Retard" because she is dumb as a box of rocks. Since my Spanish is not really good enough to have much of a conversation with her that does nothing to dissuade me. She is there with her cousin who is brand new to the business. It was her first week as an escort. He tells me he doesn't buy girls colored water and he orders them a couple of beers. The beers arrive and he says "magic pocket" and there is a 100 peso note in his hand ready to pay. Lesson 1: Always be the cool guy. Quickly followed by lesson 2: Magic pocket. Both lessons have a lot more to them then I am going to say. It's not my place to give away the lessons I was taught on a public board.

There was a lot of talent at Nuevo Estilo that night. Stranger and I kept drinking gin and tonic's. All of a sudden he tells me the cab will ready in two minutes. The Stranger Tour has a schedule that must be kept. There was a girl there that I had my eye on. She had such a sexy walk and an amazing body I had to at least get her name before we left. I said "give me one minute" and I ran out to the smoking patio where she walk talking to an Asian guy. I had no time so I apologized and butted into their conversation. The guy was cool and even offered me a cigarette. All I needed was a few seconds to tell her how beautiful she was and get her name (Mallory). I got back to Stranger slammed the rest of my gin and tonic and we were off. It can be difficult to get a cab there but Stranger has his own cab driver ready to go.

We get in the cab and Stranger tells me it's time to take a walk on the wild side. The cab driver takes us on a drive through Transvestite park. A walk on the wild side indeed. Half of these transvestites I thought, no, there's no way. That has to be a woman. Then she would say "Hey, baby" in a voice deep enough to make dick to retreat into my pelvis in shear terror. They don't hide anything either (Well they hide one thing). Half of them are topless with their big fake titties out for the world to see. Some of them had their pants around their ankles so you could see their ass implants. Some were just wearing a thong and nothing else. I have never seen anything like it. Enough of that, off to Hook.

We walk into Hook and the owner comes over and gives Stranger and I kiss on the cheek. It seems a little slow in there. There are 4 poles in Hook but there is only one girl dancing. A few seconds after the owner kisses us on the cheek all 4 poles have girls dancing on them and there are girls everywhere. It's almost like the owner went in back and yelled "vamos chicas, Stranger's here". The gin and tonic's continue. I get mine and it tastes like a glass full of gin with 5 drops of tonic water in it. Stranger just smiles and says "Life's good". I couldn't agree more. Four new girls hit the poles and the one dancing about 6 inches from where I'm standing is crazy hot. Really long and thin with a nice set of fake titties. She is a solid 10. In the United States she would be a 14. I ask Stranger about her and he say's "Yea, I was her first customer when she started working here. We're friends on Facebook". My jaw hits the floor. He say's "It's what I do". I'm trying to find out where I can get an engagement ring this time of night so I can ask this girl to marry me and Stranger say's it's time to go. We have a schedule to keep and there are 4 more clubs on the tour.

We get to Newport and the gin and tonic's don't really seem to have any tonic in them at all. It's pretty much a glass full of gin with a slice of lemon in it. There isn't much good at Newport so Stranger tells me to finish my drink, we are going to Madahos.

When we get to Madahos Stranger introduces me to "The Manager". She is the one to ask about any girl you want to take out of there. That way you don't have to worry about getting a dud. She gives you the straight scoop on all the girls and will make recommendations for you. The place is packed, the girls are all smoking hot and I am drunk as a motherfucker. Stranger is drunk too and we're still drinking gin and tonic's. I have on idea how strong the drinks are at this point I'm just drinking. The girls are all so hot dancing on stage my American strip club reflexes kick in and I start tipping them. Stranger already told me not to tip the dancers when we were at Hook. He said "Don't tip them. If you like one go fuck her". I'm not a Rockstar yet. This is only my first day of training. I still have a lot to learn. We are back at the bar and "The Manager" asks me which girl I want to fuck. A smoking hot brunet in a sexy little black dress caught my eye when we first walked in. I look through the sea of chica's and spot her. With the discretion of a drunk fool I stick the entire length of my arm out to point at her and firmly say "her" like I'm the Caesar of Madahos. She comes over and the brain cells that were holding onto our conversation are no longer with me, so I don't really remember that part. I do remember Stranger telling me if I'm not going to take her home and fuck her he will. I ordered 4 shots of the most disgusting Tequila I have ever tasted in my life. Imagine if you went to a Mexican prison and your cell mate converted the toilet into a still for making tequila out of rubbing alcohol. That's how bad it tasted. Stranger and I settle up the bill, I tip "The Manager", take my chica and leave. It's 5:00 am and there were still two more clubs on The Stranger Tour. I would eventually make it through the entire tour start to finish but not until my last night in Buenos Aires. We'll get to that story. A lot happened between my first night and my last night. You wouldn't want me to just jump right to the end.